It. Is. REAL.

It is REAL.

The feelings I had in the last semester
The doubts, the pain, the negative wonders
The insecurities deduced to mere "hallucinations"
Were way real than what I thought they would be

How do I know?

The absence of it paints a clear picture
Of how "presently" real it was back then

Now I can smile without pretending
Laugh without having that weird plastic face feeling
And sing like I'm soaring

That I wasn't hallucinating
But actually going through a wilderness
I didn't know and acowledge

Knowing that even in this present darkness
I can see my precious God
And realize that He's taking me out of this phase
Into His marvelous light

I won't doubt that I am weak

Sometimes as a leader
We put up a strong front
Like it's a crime to have feelings
To be real and raw
To be vulnerable and weak to those around you

I've come to realise that its not "just me"
But a part of life
We were wired that way
With emotions and feelings
After the fall of Adam
The negatives of life comes with the package
But my God took that package and redeemed a better one for me

And as a redeemed person
I am partaking of His goodness
Happy and content with where and who I am

So in this I shall be confident
That I'm not some weird person with crazy emotions
Cos I realized that just like me
Most of my friends have these feelings behind closed doors too

So I don't have to worry
Cos as much as I feel bad, sad, tired or neglected
I will eventually feel good, happy, refreshed and accepted
In Christ and in those that He has placed around me

Because..... It. Is. REAL.