Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Anyway, i didnt really feel like goin, cos mainly we go there to swim in the beaches if not theres really nothing much we can do, but my monthly friend came so I was skeptical whether i wanted to go. So I went with the intention of not going into the waters but just sitting by the beach and chatting with my uncle and cousins. However when 2 of my relatives rented snorkels to see the fish inside I was kinda interested. so I just went to deep my feet in the water avoiding any water contact with my upper body..lol.. that didnt work because we were so close to the fishes that i was drawn immediately!!!!
It was CRAZY!!! To see the fishes swimming in schools all around you and right in front of your face was magnificent!!! That is even an understatement, its just totally indescribable for anyone who loves nature. I mean, can you even believe it that God created nature with everything planned out and He has even input into the little fishes brains not to be afraid of wierd,huge scary humans acting all surprise and curios about them. Haha.. if I were the fish I will be totally freaked out when I see this wierd creatures with huge goggles and this tubes sticking through their mouth just waiting to take a glance of me just for their pleasure..
Changing my own perspective and looking from a fish's perspective really showed me how awesome God created them. They didnt even look intimidated by us! Just enjoying themselves swimming with their friends ignoring how close they were to the same species that eat them for dinner or catch them for pure fun. It was just a spectular sight knowing that God put in every detail and knew that even though the first thing that comes to our mind with the word "fish" is "food", He still incrypted in their cute little brains that its ok to swim around us (i think)
Of course it wasnt all fun, we got stung by Jellybuds throughout the whole experience but it was all worth it. I'm really proud of my cousins Abby and Wanda, 12 and 11 who didnt whine much but was also mature enough to 'take a step back, and admire God's creation' . My other cousin Melvin was also a real gentlemen for piggybacking us in the really deep parts and letting all 4 of us jump onto him when Deb saw a real seasnake!!!! That seasnake really did give me the creeps! When Deb saw it first she was like "ok, dont freak out, don't freak out, breath well with your snorkels" and when she was holding onto Melvin and me in a safer place she screamed "I just saw a snake!!!" that totally freaked all of us out! I and Melvin being typical teenagers and wanting to stare dangerous creatures in the eye wanted to go have a look so she brought us to the same spot, I was really nervous and breathed before putting my head into the waters, went in couldnt see a thing and went really close (partly because of my shortsightedness) i got so close to what seems to be a rock, looked closer, saw the white scales and totally freaked out!!! Looking back i think that was really funny yet dangerous....but that snake didnt stop us from staying in the water til our lips got all salty and painful which made food in our mouth tasteless!
I really wish I had a underwater camera to bring what I just wrote to justice. But that cant be done so you guys should go check it out for yourselves! And please call me along too..haha
Oh ya, and don't worry my monthly friend didnt draw in the sharks... which was also a case that scared us all especially Abby when she realised.....
Sunday, December 21, 2008
I first heard about him as the singing voice of Troy in High School Musical(HSM). First saw him in the HSM concert, but he never really did struck me til I saw him in a youtube video.The words he wrote and sang went straight to my heart, don't laugh.. even I still don't know why, lol!
Anyway, bought the DVD "another Cinderella story" and he was the main actor in it, kinda like the Prince Charming! Even then i wasn't that impress cos he seemed to be typical like a Zac Efron, Jesse Mccartney kinda guy. But when i knew he wrote the songs he sang, that really caught my attention. And his videos are clean i guess... like not sexual and stuff which is typical nowadays.So i guess he is going against the flow, writing his own music not letting managers create him, but focused on creating a courier of his own.
I guess the other qualities that draws my attention is his love, talent and passion for dancing, singing and writing.... in which are also stuff i love to do!!!But I guess he's a bit too old for me, cos he's 26, but nowadays age doesn't really matter.. does it? Now all I have to know is whether he is a christian or not....lol... just ignore me
I wasn't myself
walked around with head stooped down
thinking crazy thoughts that polluted my mind
This time last year
never said a word
but the words that did come out
were really weird ones
so weak that i couldn't control myself
not even the words that came out from my mouth
for the words spoken i felt
came from a different source
This time last year
I was so not myself
afraid of every single little thing
from the sound of the tv
to the songs from the radio
dialogues and lyrics were twisted in my mind
making me think that its me against the world
This time last year
I was hurting myself
but most importantly I was hurting the ones I love
I didnt know it that time
for I wasn't even myself
but when I see the aftermath
then is when i realize
I have made the closest people to me
worried and scared of how I was behaving
This time last year
I didn't even feel alive
my presence, my body was on earth
but somehow my mind took me too a far away place
I'm not quite sure where
But i'm sure i don't wanna go back there
Here and now
I'm feeling so good
chatting with a close friend
just being my typical talkative self
But it is seriously by the grace of God
that I'm even writing this
right here and right now
for what i am going to reveal in the entries to come
may be really shocking to some....
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
but 1 thing i really learn from this experience is that SPM is not everything.
And i have my friends to back me up on this.. hehe
cos even from the start of last year, teachers were like " you all better buck up, 1 more year and SPM" and in the beginning of the year
"its less than a few months til you all sit for the ultimate test"
but surprisingly, the closer we get to the real thing the more complacent we become.
my friend whose always top in class went through this exam with ease not even feeling it.
ha ha, but not for me. I did have a few sleepless nights and stuff but it wasnt as bad as PMR(screaming and singing all over the place)
SPM is important as a stepping stone and its good to get good results!!! but if we dont its not the end of the world!
*fingers cross. i just hope i do well*
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Judging me from my appearance
My actions, my sayings
People all around me
Think they can sum up a person
With just a look of the eye
People all around me
Just look on the outside
But never on the outside
Why do I care so much
Of what people think of me
For its silly on my part
to even think like that
They think they know a whole lot about me
But they actually don't
For the one who knows me best
Is the One above
So the next time if I do the same
Judging people for the sake
I'll remember the words from someone I look up to
Rachel Scott- a martyr of faith
whom was also my age =)
"always be a see-througher and not a look-atter"
So the next time people think
They know something about me
But it's actually not true
I'll just let it go
If it's a compliment, I'll keep it
If it's a comment, I'll work on myself
But I wont let it tear me down
No, not this time
For I know we're not perfect
And I'm happy, content and grateful
with just the way I am!!!
*this is just something that came while i was studying, suddenly putting myself in the shoes of celebrities, world leaders, big shots and even typical teenagers. the pressure they feel under the magnifying glass of people whom have nothing better to do than judge. But don't get me wrong, I love writing and I write this in a very optimistic way. peace!!! (also a reminder for myself not to judge others..hehe)
Thursday, November 6, 2008
me & my snow girl-sharon
shan & howe with Jason being his typical self--a lamp post
(lol, no offense Jason)
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
tried not to cry
tried not too cry
tried not to cry
this afternoon. comin back from school, felt a slight depression comin.went straight to bed. Asked and beggged God to take it away cos i don't wanna fall back into the cycle, the same time last yr (more will be said in another post) writing kinda for my own therapy
Friday, October 17, 2008
The storyline is good really, but the connection with the playboy mansion and playboy playmates including the founder in the movie gives me doubts.
How the playmate changed for the better is great but i'm not sure whether the process should be followed. i don really know, but when my mom heard that the founder of the playboy industry was in the movie itself we had quite a debate.
of course it was quite funny but i wouldnt say it was really hilarious, cos if we really read between the lines, some of the jokes are topics we really try to avoid.
worst part is i got my sis and aunt to come watch with me rather than my friends--wrong move
my aunt said that we all had to be delivered .. lol(i think we do)
anyway the good part was that the 7 girls who thought they were misfits and ugly with the help of Shelley (the former playmate) began to find their through self, but also went quite overboard and became ppl they were not. which eventually drived them to blame everything on Shelly.
However, they finally found their balance and became who they really were from the inside out. I loved the part where Shelley said that her heart was gonna fall out of her head, sounds stupid huh? but she said in everything we do or choices we make we have to use our mind as well as our heart equally, which i think makes sense. but sadly i still think that the perverseness of the show kinda overshadowed the morality potrayed. of course its nothing compard to American Pie, which for your information i couldnt even bear to finish. i donno, call me contradictive, but i still think that it has an awesome storyline of just being and believing yourself.
the +side, Katherine McPhee is in it and i found out later that Adam Sandler was one of the producers. parts where Shelley talked 'bout meteors and ethromycin were kinda cool too. so i'm not sure whether i'm really for the movie or against it.
All i know is that the 1 thing Shelly and I have in common.....is that we own the same handphones
Friday, October 10, 2008
so we ordered different stuff and ate, quite typical right? not until i asked James to take a picture of us for remembrance... lol.. and look at what he did...
funny huh... he was actually videoing us when he was suppose to take a picture!!! saw how deb was like "make sure can see everybody" and Henry (our B'day boy got kinda bored... poor thing) was like giving the "peace" signs and Andy was like skeptical whether he wanted to be in the picture and Grace, Amy, Brandon and I were like giving different poses. lol!!!
after that things went back to normal til Leon and Joanna decided to play choose (paper, scissors, stone) 7 times (don understand why so many times) and the looser had to eat 7 mouths of Henry's cake... Grace tried to help by asking them to lower the challenge to just 4 mouths but our dear friend Leon insisted on 7.... so lets see who won???
lol.. what goes around really comes around! we really had a great time and we're all gonna miss Henry so so much! he's been more than a youth leader to us, a friend, a worship leader, an older brother and so much more... i believe he will bless many in S'pore..
Henry, just wanna say thank you so much for everything you've done in our lives especially me and my sis for sending us to church to and fro, for leading worship, for giving us life lessons, for organizing D'Race, for taking the lead in missions and the list goes on... we're really gonna miss you here but we believe that God has His purposes for you.. oh ya and thanks for teaching me how to blog :)
Henry really is a blessing to most of us... thats why he is 1 of my SILVER LININGS!!!
(note to Grace: really glad you could come, don think too much and leave it all to God, will be praying for you!)
today we had our youth group at Kyrugma House which was fun especially cos Ps. Aster was the speaker!!! she talked bout BGR (boy-girl realationship)... which was a great help cos i believe that we're all in stages where we think bout this seriously...(thanks Aster!!!)
so yea.. she told us different important stuff to sum it up: 1st, we have to love ourselves and ask ourselves why we do.. list it all out then compare it to
Galations 5:22,23- But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
if there is any of the above qualities in the reasons we love ourselves then its great.. cos self-acceptance is so important!!!
the she went on to talk bout how we can start praying for our future marriage partners even at our young age... below is what to pray for our marriage partner now:
1. If a you're a guy, pray for a girl (vice-versa)
2. Partner must love God
3. Have similar life goals
4. Respect other guys and girls
5. If called to be single God will tell
so this are what Ps. Aster taught us.. cool huh!?!
and after that we were asked by the youth in charge to hold hands in a circle and pray for the ppl on our left.. I really believe that it was God's will cos as i was praying for the person on my left i had this strong impression that this aunty was having a hard time making an important decision... i wasn't sure whether its from God or myself... but after praying i gathered my guts up to ask her whether she's in the midst of makin a decision and to my surprise she really did! so i prayed for her and hope for her all the best( i'll cont to pray for you, aunty) God is really working in her life and her family!!! and i believe she will be a SILVER LINING!!!
so today i learned that we always have to take chances.. cos what is there too loose.. its better to make a mistake and learn from it rather than keep something from someone when God is actually using you as His mouth-piece.. so what if we were wrong just try again and believe, for with faith all things are possible!!!!
now, i"ll just tell you what happened this afternoon in prayer (the fri one unlike the usual half an hour one we do everyday at 6.30 in the morn, this one is from 12.30 to 2)
firstly, when school finished and i was walkin out from my class and goin into the class where we usually have our prayer meeting which is on my school block and the same floor with my classroom,(how we got the place and permission to use it is another miracle and will tell you another time) my sis was like "have you seen it, have you seen it outside?" and i was like see what... then she said " the rainbow above, the whole circled one, the one that happened before"(more all less these were what she said) anyway, so i was like really?!? how cool is that and like my usual self i went "this must be a sign from God" and its also prayer meeting today
we actually had quite a few visions and pictures(which we usually call them,so more relatable to new christians) on rainbows and different colors...which is actually cool cos we're practicing the gifts of the spirits like visions, pictures, prophetic words and others too.. may share what we saw in the blogs to come...may..
yea so we were all really hiked up and really wanted to pray for Malaysia as its in its changing stages now...50 years has pass and now for the 51st year its time to give the nation back to God and allow Him to do what He always wanted!!! Its JUBILEE!!!
yea.. so we had worship lead by our wonderful friend Jia Jun, and Miguel on the guitar (thanks, Val and Deb for leading other times) it was good worship.. oh and we also played a game before that which was done by our aweaome friend Hannah(she also has her testimony to tell, actually all of us have our own stories to tell which will just glorify God) we had lots of fun just being ourselves after a whole day of school...then our friend Tan Ta Yun( we call him pastor cos he wants to be one when he is older and is already practicing it in our meetings, keep it up Tan!^^) shared a word on our relationship with God... and the wonderful part was during worship, Jia jun chose the song 'At the cross' by Hillsongs where the bridge goes ' You tore the veil, You made a way, when You said that it is done' ...
and i went on to explain after Tan's message bout how God tore the veil that was seperating the Holy place and Holy of Holies where the real presence of God was the moment Jesus breathed his last and said it is done.. and now, thanks to God, we dont have to slaughter animals in the tabernacle and go through the courtyard,Holy place, and Holy of Holies with fear and rituals but just come and meet Him face to face anywhere and anytime....
then we prayed for Malaysia and saw different things... Jing Jing and i saw the same picture where there were many fire droplets falling something like hail storms(not quite sure) on our land and there were many ppl running around with fear and avoiding the fire.. i didnt quite understand but when Jing Jing said that she saw a picture and explained it i knew it was from God cos we both had the same picture.. but i didnt get the back part and she did so she said after that she saw someone like a man in a malay costume plus the 'songkok' and stuff.. walkin calmly among the havoc through the streets where ppl were running all over.. then she saw in the sky God looking down and crying happy that we were doin something that made God happy.. we dont quite understand the whole part yet.. but she then saw something like a ball or force field covering our land and nothing could harm it and Jesus hugged the ball tightly with tears in His eyes and then the map of Sabah (the one like the dog head) very clearly...we really believe that God is doin somthing in Malaysia and especially Sabah
and it didnt end there.. we took out a picture which i asked Jasperin to draw cos it was seen by A. Christina (thanks aunty!) a church member of mine whom while praying for the prayer meeting and us in D'gap(yea!) ...cos she is so excited bout the revival happening in our school that she listens to every word i have to say bout whats goin on... and then she prayed and while praying, God showed her a picture of a lamb on a fire that was never gonna die down simply because the lamb was Jesus and the blood from the lamb represented the blood of Jesus and we were like the fire burning and with the blood of Jesus over us, the fire will never go out... so as long as we keep pleading the blood of Jesus over ourselves and others(cos when we go for prayer and are on fire for God.. the devil will wanna attack us even more), God will keep the revival burning ....!!! How cool is that!
so thats what happened today or maybe yesterday.. lol its 1.30 in the mornin.. and there is more to come cos God's power is ever working in our school and various lifes..
this is how it goes.. after the camp the 6 of us, Jasperin, Samuel (her bro), Debbie (my sis), Joanna, Priska and I of course got all hiked up and had this bigger burning desire in us to pray for our school... through this camp we met youth from different churches who are in our school and we asked them to join us.. so thats how the numbers got up.... from 6 it became 10 to 12 to 15 and one day we actually had 24 and some days there were more!!!
because of the amount of students coming, we had to change the place where we prayed... so which much prayer and discernment we switched from the library which is on the 1st floor of our IT block to the 2nd floor outside the multimedia room by the corridor...which is actualy quite EXPOSED!!! (I'll try to get some pictures)
yea.. so thats how we progressed... now, 10+ plus students coming to prayer meeting to me is no small thing especially when you have to wake up extra early and walk 2 storeys high just to come down again after half an hour or so... with our bags and sleepiness, its actually quite a sacrifice on our a part.. but of course theres nothing to complain about when our small sacrifice is nothing compared to the sacrifice Jesus did for us on the cross! thankfully none of us had really complain yet.... but of course we do hear complains from friends saying things like "not again", or "sure go prayer meeting one" but nothings gonna stop us. I know so...
after this I"ll write bout the past and what is and gonna happen in these prayer meetings.. I tell you, there are parts where you just wanna laugh, parts where you think lifes unfair, parts where we get ridiculed and more (bout our lateness to enter class) so yea.. if you guys wanna hear more or ask anything just feel free to give a comment ya!
its really cool cos its lead by us students with no teachers around!
it started when the 6 of us started a prayer group to pray for our country, lifes and especially for revival to touch our school- KK High!!!
we started around March this year and had only 6 members throughout til may, we would pray in the library really quietly as not to disturb anyone else.. at first it was quite hard cos its like you really haven't woken up yet, then you have to walk to the library first with school books and stuff (heavy and not all that great) then each one of us will take turns to pray.. sometimes we get to class late (which is totally not excusable, later you'll see why), but at that time we thought that we were actually doin the right thing by praying more.. lol.. so all this happen til May....
when May came, we had this Passion camp which was lead by different youth leaders all round KK (thank you guys sooo much!) and it was really something!
the speaker was a totally gifted one and he is none other the cool, funky and down-to-earth, Ps. Kenneth Chin!
he taught us different things that i think will be kept in our hearts throughout our lifes..
he also taught us to pray for Malaysia and our schools and believe that revival will come which EVENTUALLY.......
Friday, September 19, 2008
for my own pleasure
and for the pleasure
of my own viewing
to express myself
when theres no other way
but through my own fingertips
from my own thoughts
for the sake of myself
my love ones
family and friends
for those who are illiterate
who cant write
or even read
cos I was given a prophecy
one great one that said
I have the Psalmist anointing
for God gave me this mind
and this hand
to do what i never imagined
trying to reach out to the lost
the unlovable the untouchable
trying my best to touch them with my words
for the sake of my soul
that my body soul and spirit
will be able to connect
cos I cant contain my joy
as i feel His presence
in every school prayer meeting
for the sake of His glory
how awesome He is
I know- cos he's living in me
cos I wanna let the whole world know
He's so good to me
and that I cant wait to see Him in Heaven
cos writing is my passion
same as when I run or read
which also are kinda like my silver linings!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
I see raindrops falling heavily
A drop itself is nothing much but just a drop in itself
A trinkle of water that does no harm
But when raindrops fall together as one
As they take their turns falling at their defining moments
It becomes something wonderful yet scary at the same time
It refreshes us yet brings us down
It quenches the thirst of plants yet drenches and kills them
It helps streams flow freely yet causes floods unthinkable
It brings water yet brings diseases
It is needed for survival yet it takes many lives
As i look out from my school's library glass window pane
I can see its still raining
But I look past the rain and into the sky
The nice blend of colors, rich yet light
Blue but not too blue, dark but not to dark
Blending softly like a baby's white sheet
Then I realize that I shouldnt look at rain the way i see it before
I should see it as a gift from God
For after the rain there's always a rainbow
The rainbow of His promises
Promising me so much
More than I can imagine.
To be continued......
Saturday, August 16, 2008
*a life style
*a personal love song to God
*an act of complete surrender to our Lord
*wholeheartedly giving Him the very best of our praise and adoration
*moves the atmosphere and drives away demons
*breaking down strongholds
*what brought the walls of Jericho down
*a way to bring in the harvest
*a way to cast out fear
*a spiritual expression of thirst and hunger for His love and salvation
what does worship mean to you? feel free to add on this list...
Friday, August 15, 2008
one of the amazing, wonderful creation is the beautiful sky and clouds that in often times have a silver lining to it. so what is a "silver lining"? some say the word silver lining comes from thunder clouds, which are often very dark and threatening but which may also have a silver gleam of sunlight along one edge- the "silver lining" to the cloud. this comes to say that every negative situation can produce something that is positive! the very positive thing of the situation is the "silver lining".
for example many people agree that the "silver lining" of World War 2 was the increase in technology that hastened the developement and start of the computer era. (but i still dont think we should support war as an advancement of our nation; its totally like eating a banana and trying to put the skin back on making it look pretty but inside it makes you feel sick) what do you think about it?
anyway, i think that every single one of us need different silver linings in our lives whether its a person, a love one, a process, an experience,a favourite show or pet, not only physically when we see in the sky with our naked eye but also to go beyond the surface and feel it emotionally, mentally and spiritually. so if you're feeling down, sad, depress(strong word i know but very true), hurt, rejected, just look up. find a cloud(could be a dark one). look at its silver lining. breath in deep. let out a big sigh.try to get over it. and always always remember that God totally understands what you're going through and He is overseeing your situation. always remember that a "silver lining" is a hopeful prospect in the midst of difficulty.this blogs will be mainly about my silver linings and how they have touched me. of course there will be other stuff. so what is your silver lining?
PS* i will really like to hear from you!