Monday, March 26, 2012

Praise in Defeat

I'm late for a meeting
Because for too long I was sleeping
Coming back from Kingdom Invasion
I bet the enemy got threatened and started invading

Walked to the house where we were having our meeting
Heard music from a guitar and voices singing
Felt the presence of our Lord like a mighty wind
Felt weak, tired but a light starting to ignite

Fever and all I sat on the last empty spot
Next to a dear girlfriend of mine
Guessed is wasn't just me who was in a state of defeat
Crazy when exams and deadlines come together and meet

With a "Kingdom Vision" and "Finals" at two ends of a spectrum
The emotions which strings between begins to sink in
The reality of the mundanity of this sinking earth
Making it an 'unachievable' dream to bring Heaven on earth 

I sit there at let the tears flow
Where were they coming from I do not know
How do I praise my King
When all I feel is defeat?

I open my mouth but nothing comes out
Yet it's overflowing on the inside of my heart
Feeling so sick that I can't even sing
I reluctantly heave into a state of defeat

My heart wants to sing but my mouth won't comply
With head down I let the tears flow
Hoping He sees my heart
Where my spirit is so much stronger than my flesh

Different thoughts flood my mind
And I know there's no other way but the Divine
Who could get me out of this state of defeat
But on my part I'll have to reach for His present hand

I reach it and take hold of it
With what is left I push emotions and lethargy aside
This battle has already been won
And I would want to be fit for my entitlement

I sang my praises although it was not like the usual
My voice still soft I wondered why it couldn't get any louder
I did not let my sickness however
Get in the way of me worshipping my King

I told myself I shan't be praying for anyone today
For how could I do it, being in such a state?
But as I sung my praise, supernatural strength arose
And there I went onto praying for those

The worship and prayer ended
And with a smile I knew that the devil has been defeated
For I realize something I never knew before
It's because it can only be realized when you're there stuck in total defeat

That when I feel the weight of responsibilities hanging on my shoulders
And sickness in my stomache making my knees go weak
A deliberate and determine decision to say to my spirit arise
And not allow my own flesh to get in the way

I realized that if I set my mind to it
I can praise God in any circumstances
Let the tears flow but life goes on
No time for self-pity

I walked in a failure
And walked out a victor
Learning a new lesson
That I still can give Him
Praise in defeat....

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