Praise in Defeat

I'm late for a meeting

Because for too long I was sleeping

Coming back from Kingdom Invasion

I bet the enemy got threatened and started invading

Walked to the house where we were having our meeting

Heard music from a guitar and voices singing

Felt the presence of our Lord like a mighty wind

Felt weak, tired but a light starting to ignite

Fever and all I sat on the last empty spot

Next to a dear girlfriend of mine

Guessed is wasn't just me who was in a state of defeat

Crazy when exams and deadlines come together and meet

With a "Kingdom Vision" and "Finals" at two ends of a spectrum

The emotions which strings between begins to sink in

The reality of the mundanity of this sinking earth

Making it an 'unachievable' dream to bring Heaven on earth 

I sit there at let the tears flow

Where were they coming from I do not know

How do I praise my King

When all I feel is defeat?

I open my mouth but nothing comes out

Yet it's overflowing on the inside of my heart

Feeling so sick that I can't even sing

I reluctantly heave into a state of defeat

My heart wants to sing but my mouth won't comply

With head down I let the tears flow

Hoping He sees my heart

Where my spirit is so much stronger than my flesh

Different thoughts flood my mind

And I know there's no other way but the Divine

Who could get me out of this state of defeat

But on my part I'll have to reach for His present hand

I reach it and take hold of it

With what is left I push emotions and lethargy aside

This battle has already been won

And I would want to be fit for my entitlement

I sang my praises although it was not like the usual

My voice still soft I wondered why it couldn't get any louder

I did not let my sickness however

Get in the way of me worshipping my King

I told myself I shan't be praying for anyone today

For how could I do it, being in such a state?

But as I sung my praise, supernatural strength arose

And there I went onto praying for those

The worship and prayer ended

And with a smile I knew that the devil has been defeated

For I realize something I never knew before

It's because it can only be realized when you're there stuck in total defeat

That when I feel the weight of responsibilities hanging on my shoulders

And sickness in my stomache making my knees go weak

A deliberate and determine decision to say to my spirit arise

And not allow my own flesh to get in the way

I realized that if I set my mind to it

I can praise God in any circumstances

Let the tears flow but life goes on

No time for self-pity

I walked in a failure

And walked out a victor

Learning a new lesson

That I still can give Him

Praise in defeat....