Friday, January 16, 2009

someone hard to love

*Just a quick one as i wait for my hair dye to sink in (its my first dye! hope it comes out well! lol)

Have you ever have this friend where you just cant be yourself with?

You are soooo forced to compromise your belief just so you wont get verbally bullied or belittled?

I have this friend whom i just introduced to work in Supertots (the kindergarten i work in)
and the more we get closer the more I feel hurt.

She swears a lot, for God knows what reason, and she likes bragging about her stuff and how rich she is (which is totally not true) I hate complimenting her anymore cos she will be "I know" or "come on, who are we talking about" or " come on, you know me" which kinda put's me off.
I mean here I am trying to compliment her as a friend to boost her and she just shrugs it off like she's too gorgeous too receive my compliment.

It's really hard you know, and she loves boys like totally! She was so excited and proud that this 6 year old kid asked for her name!!! And i just sincerely told her that the kids do ask for our names if not they wont know what to call us, but to her its oh no... he asked for her name which seem to be such a big issue and continued to say "want my number?" Just the thought of it made me gag! I mean he's only 6! No doubt that he is cute but just give him a break!

Through the way she speaks, I know she belittles me. I don't know whether she is intimidated but she just puts me off. She will be like "oh, its the first time I hear you use the word 'whatever' and your like so innocent so when you say it.....'' and how she takes the teacher job for granted (maybe more for the money and less for the kids) really offends me like how she went "yay, I'm out of supertots now, I can swear" . Sometimes i wonder whether i did make a mistake to introduce her to this job and like she herself said " Tricia, so now I'll see you everyday..." in a sarcastic way made me feel like I made a total mistake!

I am still holding on to her with the hope that she'll turn on a new leaf and accept christ but the more i try helping the more i get hurt.

You reading, please give me advice on what shall I do.
Should I give up on her?
Should I just hold on?
Should I just allow her to keep verbally attacking me?
Should I stand up for myself?
But how, to talk back rudely to her, just to give her back a piece of herself?
To teach her a lesson?
To let her know that there's more to life than big boobs, an ass, a boyfriend, richness and outward beaty? cos thats almost everything she talks about.
How do I let her know yet not hurt her?
Cos all I feel now is the hurt she gives me.

I think this is really a case where the phrase WWJD comes in. Seriously, What Would Jesus Do?!

Would me being quiet and just letting her go on with her life ruin her? or should I just let her know bout her attitide and put our friendship on stakes? I really don't know, all I know is that I'm hoping and praying fot the day when I can call her my silver lining.

3 comments:

Sujin said...

hiya my gorgeous,
i understand hw u feel about having to compliment a friend when u really dont feel like it.
my advice is that you should tell her what you think. Let her know that swearing is actually NOT ok, that if ur working in supertots, its a priviledge and she shldnt take it for granted.
you shouldnt have to agree with what she says because ur intimidated,stand up to her in a nice way,God doesnt like bullies. he'll give u the strength to do it. maybe no one has ever told her how bad she is, and maybe you should be the first.someone needs to help that poor girl.
love u dearest. =)
jin

ClemenyXellos Freedom said...

Hey... Do i know this 'she'?... ok... erm its abit obvious... and maybe i guessed correctly... my advise... Pray more... Ask God for help... i know la, its really hard to deal with this... but just tahan la... and BTW, the part where the 6boy "do u want my phone no?" one... really funny... i laughed too...

ClemenyXellos Freedom said...

lol... scared me... i tot that 'Sujin' is 'sun jin'... i said when his english got so well... lol... nvm... good luck