Ending a Season

Ending a season
That's what convocation does
It forces me to think back, relax
And ponder on how God has placed me here in TARC KL

The people, blessings and circumstances
All adding on to a bigger picture
A picture which I yet still can't see
Because my eyes can't behold the vastness of it

But God sees it
And He know the ending result
Where stronger strokes of paint
Resembles the hardship, tears and pain

While gentle strokes of freedom
Mixed with too much water
Gives it a softer feel
Of the times I just fly and soak in His love for me

Still can't believe its been over 2 years now
Since I left the comfort of my home
And the security of a "strong" shelter
Never expecting that SO much would happen in my 2 years here

I had my plans
But God had His too
And it's just so overwhelming
That He's plans are just mind- blowing

They say the best years of your life
Would be your college years
I'm seeing that and so much more
For a life lived for God reaches far greater and more

I'm still a work in progress
Still shaping, still learning
To be more Christlike
And to be able to mirror His heart

And at 21, it plays an even more significant role
Stepping into freedom where mom won't always be there
Where paying bills and washing clothes (on time) is a necessity
And finding my ultimate destiny truly lies on living by His Voice

It's a bit scary
But seeing Him see me through my diploma season
I've come to know that trusting Him would be my ultimate freedom
As I end this season, and go into the new......

Thank You Daddy, for all of Your blessings. 

Jennifer Tai Photo artistry

So, I have always been interested in photography, especially ones with people inside. I love taking scenery's but there's just something about portraits and candid shots that seem to inspire me, giving me that inner feeling of being just grateful with life despite all the talk on how bad the world is becoming. Giving me a sense of Faith, Hope & Love. The Gift of the One in us (whether we're yet to discover it) shining through the glistening of the eyes...real magical and sometimes surreal indeed. Making me fall in love with my loved ones all over again and even strangers I see in pictures just because.....

So when I came across Jennifer Tai Photo Artistry's Facebook page, I just couldn't stop looking through the pretty pictures she took of families, weddings and babies. If I ever become a professional photographer (which I highly doubt), I'll wanna be someone like her, taking portraits of people all year round because unlike just capturing studio shots and wedding pictures, only depicting a present happiness, I can make time stand still, locked up with just a click, capturing that precious moment of love which stood against the test of time. Where outer beauty fades off, giving in to where true beauty lies- messy babies, wrinkled smiles, dirty children and "sick-in-love" older or even young couples. True beauty defined. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Impossible

Signs of the impossible starts happening again

When I thought I could have breath a sigh of relief

It jerks me back up again

Letting me know that its not over and done with

With too many similar signs it's starting to scare me

On earth it seems irrelevant, unattainable and illogical

But somehow somewhere in the realm of the Supernatural

I have a feeling that things are orchestrating to the beat of God's heart

It can be mental torture

To think, think and yet think again

To go into a cycle of illusion 

Which may bring to perceived disillusion

I'm tired of these signs, dreams and impressions

All leading to that same "someone" again

When the matter of the fact is

That it cannot happen for he's already taken

Now all I can do

Is sigh at Heaven

Why this, why now?

Why all over again

I shall guard my heart

And keep my hopes in check

But at the same time not allow a defense mechanism

To block me from receiving true love when it really comes

God, help me in this state of uncertainty

To believe that it will go both ways and not just my way

That when the whole situation does not make any sense 

I will still hold on to the God above common sense

Whether it really happens or not

Whether what we saw was actually what You revealed

May I not take this experience and point a finger at You

But may I be reassured that You are forever faithful

And so I shall continue to believe in The Impossible...

Wish

Stumbled upon this song and just fell in love with it. Have been playing it on repeat for the past week already, and am still not bored, lol! Never knew that Brian Littrell from the Backstreet Boys had such an intimate relationship with God! So its not that bad after all with the music industry filled with people like this unashamed of their relationship with God and not compromising on their values and beliefs. By the way, one of the Wonder Girls also said that the songs repeating on her mp3 now is Hillsongs! Praise Jesus! :D

For just a moment
I wish I could have been there
To see Your first step, hear Your very first word
Tell me, did You ever fall and scrape Your knee?
Did You know Your wounds would one day heal the world?
For just one moment
I wish I could have seen You growing
Learning the ways of a carpenter's son
Just a little boy gazing at the stars
Did You remember creating every one?
If you passed by, would I have seen a child or a King?

Would I have known?
I wish I could have been there
My only wish is to see You, face to face
Wish I could have been there
Just to see You, Jesus, face to face

For just a moment
I wish I could have been there
When You left Your footprints upon the waves
To walk along beside You and never look away
Just Your whisper and the wind and sea obey
To see You feed the people 
To feel Your healing in Your touch

I wish I could have been there
My only wish is to see You, face to face
Wish I could have been there
Just to see You, Jesus, face to face

To hear you pray in the garden alone
Laying down Your will with each tear
To see You walk that lonely road
Willing to die for me
And in that moment
I know I should have been there
You took my cross and gave Your life
And you live again, oh
And You live again!

Wish I could have been there
My only wish is to see You rise again
Wish I could have been there
My only wish is to see You, Jesus, face to face

Someday I'll be there, I'm gonna be there
I'll see Your face, Your mercy, Your grace
Someday, someday
I'm going to see You, Jesus

Face to face

External Dictation

External Dictation
That's what I seem to be seeing
(And I'm tired of it)
We live our lives
Based on outward signs
Rather than inward convictions
 
We act in a "certain" way
Joke in a "hurtful" way
Confront in an "emotional" way
Defend in a "justifiction" way
And forget about living His way
 
We whine and sulk about how life's treating us
How people misunderstand us
How it is not fair
How things are not how they are suppose to be
And how we ever ended up in that state of despair

We go on and on and on
Blaming everyone else
Circumstances and situations
Our upbringing and family backgrounds
Justifying the way we are living

Never realizing that we're so self-centered
When we think the way that we think
Victimizing ourselves
Blaming it on others
When the blame should be on the devil

We allow external dictatorship
To tell us who we should love
Who we should be in a relationship with
How we should treat or joke about someone
Or basically how we should live our lives

External dictatorship comes in all forms
Circumstances and situations
Misunderstood confrontation
And dysfunctional accountability
Sucking the lives out of us when in the right context
All the above should be really helping us

For all I know Oprah Winfrey was molested as a child
And look where she is now
She didn't allow external circumstances dictate her future
Something we can actually learn from her
To not sulk, dwelling on the past
But to press on towards a bright future

Plus as a child of God
I have more to believe in and to be happy about
For this I shall:
Stop behaving in a pitiful way
Of allowing external things, circumstance or sayings
To dictate my thoughts, beliefs and actions
I shall look inward
To the One who shall dictate where I should go
And not allow external dictations to dictate me no more...

 

"We don't have a right to have a thought in our mind that isn't in the heart of God." ~ Bill Johnson.