Thursday, April 1, 2010

To not Act on Compassion

"To not act on compassion"
Sounds harsher than what's supposedly conveyed
Like we should cut out all emotions
Of care and sympathy towards the less fortunate

I was given this advice
When my sis and I wanted to take in a stray cat
But our house condition didn't approve
And we were told not to act on what we felt

Didn't make much sense then
Let alone made me despise the fact
But now looking back
It seems more true than just a mere simple act

"To Not Act On Compassion"
We may have to read between the lines
Or focus on the sentence in this case
For to it there's more than sense

You see, I'm very compassionate at heart
And at times it had in back, hit me hard
Lost my handphone, lost lots of money
Thinking relationships were as sweet as honey

Putting people in front of myself
Trying to not think of oneself
To be like what Jesus wanted me to be?
A friend to everyone else?

" be wise as serpents and as innocent as doves..."
A verse in Matthew my mom keeps reminding me
I really need that right now
Cos here in KL all I wanna do is give money to those around me
(as in the guy with one leg begging outside the bank)
(and the old man selling maps, he's old but still working, so why not?)

"But is that what God really wants me to be?"
Its really a tough question and is one of those
Where I cant give myself an answer
As quick as when "I WANT AN ANSWER!"

For in the bible He also asked us to give up everything
Like sell our stuff and follow Him
But do I do that out of context?
Or read it as some kind of metaphoric statement

Its hard right now
Why do I have such a soft heart
Which cost myself so much pain
Cos some people take my kindness for granted and take all else away...

I guess I'll have to keep learning
To sometimes put my head over heart
Rather than just follow my heart
And I'll keep learning as long as I'm on this life's long journey...

God, I know You're here with me
On these trip to somewhere special
But now the road is so tough and mystified
Please help me get through to see the light

I wanna be in the center of Your destiny!
But not where I'm pushed by emotions
And lacking in intelligence
To make the right choices in life.....

For you are the only answer,
The problem to my solutions,
The only friend I can truly trust,
The balm for my wounding heart...

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