Being Wanted

I have never felt this wanted before

Not by a person but by so many

Lol, it's not by guys but by many people

Who hold important posts in this college

I guess going to the Leadership camp has opened many doors for me

To emcee in different events and help out in anyway I can

But somehow there's just too many events and too many dates

Too torn in between to miss out on any, I'll hate

But I have committed myself to CF

And there is where my decision lies

But what about the harvest field

If not me then who?

Taking up these posts wont be easy

Going through the interviews wasn't even easy

I didn't plan to go in the first place

Why was I there at the right or wrong time?

They can really talk you into helping them out

Bending their rules for you

Giving you favors

Just so you can help them for that few days

Have this been what I have always been looking for?

To be known, needed and wanted?

Its hard to say for ironically I hate attention

People won't believe it

But seriously I do

Don't know what it is

Is it the way I speak, laugh or present?

Or is it the way I look too young to be my age?

Or is it even my height? (lol)

What I want is to be God's light

To shine not for me but for Him

So that when people see me

They don't see me but God

It's easy to say that

Really easier said then done

I hope my heart is right where it's suppose to be

To be filled with humility even in the midst of this activities

To not be proud cos so many people know me

But look beneath and to see what lies under it all

I have to stop being fickle

And start making important decisions

To prioritize my time

And not leave God behind

I guess being wanted isn't how I thought it will be

I was seriously confused and walked back with a heavy heart

So what if so many people want you to help out

I only have 2 hands and 2 feet

Talked to close friends about it

Saying that I hope I had a twin to help me out

But she answered, "then you'll just have double the problem"

They really opened my perspective on this situation I'm going through

I hate where I am right now

To have to choose between so many

Cos somehow in one way or another

Its not just events but friend ties involved

God, please help me

Show me which to choose

And which to not

To have the courage to just say no

And to not give in and please everyone

But You

But at least people can that I'm a christian

And so far comments have not been negative

If only they can see my heartbeat for God

And what I'm trying to live out

It will really make being wanted all the more worth it...