Standing on Empty

To stand on empty

I'd rather be a bird and be free

To soar in the sky

With nothing in mind

I feel like I'm standing on this tiny island

2 by 2 feet

Just enough to hold me

The sand so yellow I feel hollow

It's not the first time

It happened after TT

It's happening after Easter

The emptiness after a big event

You work and work, You do and you do

And then it is all over

With a pat on the back and praises abounding

The last thing to expect is the feeling of nothing

I get that a lot

Working so hard to achieve something

And when it is all over and done with

A slight depression enters and nothing

I hate that

The way I feel the way that I feel

I'd rather cry or be enraged with emotions

But I guess sometimes things or in this case emotions don't come as you want

No tears, no anger

No happiness, no joy

Not even the slightest feeling of achievement

Just pure numbness as numb as it can be

You feel so desperate you'd rather any kind of emotion

I try to feel happy but that would be lying

I try to cry but the tears would never start falling

I try to find something, anything within me and all I see is emptiness

We're so used to being busy

That the moment I have free time

I just don't know what to do

And everything seems grey and blue

I have to trust that God will see me through and fast

Cos finals are next week

And to stay in such nothingness will be weak

I have to fight and start making things right

I have to move away from this island I stand

The Island of Empty

And move onto standing on the direct will of God

His Word and who He is

Took a walk but couldn't concentrate

Tried talking to God with no return

Text-ed a friend with no reply

Tried reaching my inner feelings with no avail

But in God I put my trust

And on His solid rock I stand

A step away from the lonely Island

And onto His strong promises for me

To know that He knows what I'm going through

That even though I'm not feeling anything

He still feels for me

And He knows exactly to the very core of what I'm going through

To me I may feel nothing

But He takes this nothingness and turns it into a something

And that will be a wonderful and incredible "something"

Although I haven't a clue whatsoever of anything

I wont stay true to my feelings

For right now I don't feel anything

But I'll stay true to my Faith

For God is my everything

And that is one step of faith away from this Island

And onto what God has in stored

No more standing on empty

For my faith stands on a God that has so much more...