As I sit here by 公公's bedside,I see him lying on the bed.
I can't help but feel the peace & contentment
God has placed around us.
We both know what's going to happen,
but we're not letting it steal our time together.
I gave him his milk through his tube,
hold his hand and asked him
whether he wanted me to sing.
I sang a few chinese songs
and got the pleasure of finding out
which one was his favorite.
"耶和华" a song named "Jehovah"....
Squeezing my hand whenever this song was mentioned
assured me that this was his favorite.
It was hard at first, being shy and all,
there were so many patients
and their family members around
but what did I have to loose?
I would rather my dignity,
than him not hearing his song.
The tears fall uncontrollably.
I just face him.
And face all else out.
He had tears,
But he also had a smile.
I know deep down,
he knows where he's going.
And its a joy to see him
despite tubes, needles and all,
being able to pick a song
(well not exactly, but I can hear the tune
and make out the words)
It's more than changing his diaper
or feeding him milk,
checking whether he's warm enough,
or whether he has enough glucose drip, sodium chloride
Letting him hold my hand
unless I have to wash his syringes
or throw something
Is all I can do for him these last days.
The simple gesture of just holding his hand
means the world to the both of us.
He's been grumbling the whole time I write this.
I guess he wants me to sing him his favorite song.
His grip's so strong
I can't imagine how anyone healthy
can grip as long and as hard as this.
I guess all his energy is exerted
to show love through his hold.
It kinda hurts when he squeezes that long,
But I don't want it to end.
I love him and so does God.
I know he's going to a better place,
and be in safer arms.
A place so beautiful,
a million words cant describe.
He's going to spend all of eternity
with the One above.
He is truly blessed.
Ok, now I really have to sing to him
for he's grumbling away.
It's my pleasure though,
I'll do it day after day,
til he leaves for a better place.
I'll sing to him in our own world
No one else hears
It is just us....
Me, him and the One above....