Sunday, January 29, 2012

Driving mindlessly with a Purpose

After visiting our dad I made a random decision to drive down anywhere
Any place that would kill time
You know the feeling of not wanting to go home just yet
To feel free at the wheel and let the miles lead you
Or at least that's just a simple pleasure I love doing
I think its therapeutic and I converse with God good that way
(but gas ain't cheap, so it's not a daily thing :P)

My sister was apprehensive at first thought
But maybe realization of me flying back too fast too soon to KL
Or just wanting to laze around as I drive her as she games on my cell
Or just obliging to the request of her dear older sis
She gave in and asked where should we go

Even I didn't know where we were going
I just knew I wanted to drive
To do this "hobby" I love doing
And spend as much "wasted" time productively
And let the thoughts in my head find focus and alignment

We hadn't any money
Except for an angpau she found in her pocket
We were almost broke
But with KK before us
And with our adventurous states 
We rode off into some randomness

So I drove and drove
Wanting to take a good look at KK
What have been added and subtracted in the absence of my 2 years
Many malls I haven't been to yet
Not as many lights as I thought there would be
But KK is still KK
And I just love it here

Took a longer route  into town to see its night life
Took an even further detour to get ice-cream from a drive-thru McDonalds
My sis had only 5 ringgit and I forgot my purse
(talk about driving illegally! Yikes! I'm sorry!)

So with nothing but 5 bucks and a 3 quarter full tank
We went somewhere way out of the way almost to another district
Got ourselves our sundae cones with the little money that we had
And drove back home fulfilled and satisfied

Throughout the journey we chatted and talked about things
Like where church and the worship team is heading
And the more than a hundred ringgit worth of original CD's she got from the Logos ship
And how excited she was when she bought the "Prophetic Revelations" one
Just as she saw Kim Walker's name on it
Or how we guessed each singer that came next because it was a great mix
With worshipers like Paul Baloche, Jason Upton, Misty Edwards and Brian and Jen Johnson

The cone in my hand was a tad of a hassle
Almost drove all the way back with one hand on the steering wheel
And the same hand switching the signals
Hoping nothing will stain my dress
I'm glad I came back without any mess

I'm gonna miss all of these
Although it is pretty random
Still don't know why I did that
But like what I wanted to do during this holiday
I think I can cross out one and seven

Maybe it something deep inside of me
A realization of something from within
Something from my heart that haven't really gotten to my head yet
That the next few years of my life won't be where I came from
The place where I was born and brought up
Taken care of and loved

Had a great catching up with 3 of my childhood friends in the afternoon
2 of which played a great part in my early years
Went to kindergarten, church and primary school together
To each others houses for play dates and stuff
Haven't been in contact for years
But we just continued like it was all yesterday
No awkwardness, no empty space
Just childhood friends re-connecting
The funny thing is they're all guys
Funny how things work in life?

That feeling in my heart about my life and future
Is still slowly making its sweet stroll travelling to my mind
This one I need God to  help me figure
Up here I'm clueless with what the future holds
But the One who holds my heart has it all in parts
Where He would slowly reveal my destiny before me

But being a Christian does not make you a robot
Far from that it makes you more in touch with your emotions
Inclined to what's happening around my surroundings
Unlike the world who numbs itself with the cliche
I just thrust myself into His arms
And let His love for me make my fear fade away

I'm gonna miss my sister, my friends and my family
My church where I led worship today
And the many food I can't eat just anywhere
The piano that stands so grandly in my living room
The park where I used to shoot baskets late into the night
The friends who live just walks away
And the time I spent praying with a dear friend around the park
As we pray for our "taman", school and community

I guess all these would have to be locked up in my mental diary
Precious moments turned memories
That will stay with me all the days of my lives

Heritage and legacies
Testaments of who I am today
A very very huge part of me that accompanied me
Through my growing pains and growing up
(I guess there would be more blogpost on this)

I could just keep writing on and on and on
On what I've learnt here and the sentimental which follows
But I have to stop somewhere
And just thank God as I stare

At the beauty of where I grew up
A place I have grown to love
Roots gripped onto the earth of where I'm standing
A heritage of more than all the research could show

So driving mindlessly did bring myself at ease
As I gaze upon the destinies He has in stored for me
I have to let go of the wonders I've been through
Torn in between
With both views in sight
In front of and behind me
Of one I have to choose...

on which is centred on God....

I beg to differ because when the destination's Heaven, we live our lives differently...

and therefore I believe

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