Monday, January 23, 2012

Life is Fragile (even in times of happiness)

Celebrating Chinese New Year have so far been great
I hope it sounded cheerful
Because I really am happy with the many things that are happening

The things that life throws at you when you least expect
A decaying tooth or a broken DVD

Hurting so bad making eating hard
Or not seeing the motion picture move fluidly
Cuts, pauses and jerks here and there
Making that "what-should-have-been" a wholesome experience
Oh so not hopeful at all

I have a friend whose brother just passed away
On the first day of the Chinese New Year
It was a big shocker 

He just got married and has a baby on the way
Future lying ahead of him
Allowing him to achieve everything he had ever imagined
But  like the words from a Band Perry's song
It got cut with the "sharp knife of a short life"
The most horrible and unthinkable thing here is the way he passed

They were playing fireworks in the morning when it happened
One was lit up but it didn't spark up
So he went closer to have a look at it
With head over cracker
The timing so bad
It blew up in his face and that was the end.

But what stunts me more is the way his sister responds to it
She acts way calm in her text messages and all
Just describing it as it was and when the funeral will take place
 Things just doesn't fall in place
We even thought that it was just a gruesome joke

But this joke which life plays on us
Is no joke at all
It just gave me a bigger sense of urgency
That life is precious. PRICELESS
And everything but pointless.

Then I look at this special person I love
How God have been protecting him so much
No matter how many times he turned his back on Him
No matter how long he has turned His back on God
Accidents after mishaps
It's like even lighting can't kill him
Seeing how many car accidents, falls, crashes, debts
And getting into trouble with the cops and officials 
He has gotten himself into
Yet he is still alive

It pains me to see him like that
Cooking utensils older than me
Cooked our CNY dinner
Its the same dishes every year (lol)
But I don't whine and just enjoy it
Of course I do ask why always the same...

And then the many times I've turned him down
My hectic schedule does nothing to allow
Breakfast, dinner, teatime or supper
Something that can just squeeze in to strengthen the bond
And every time I try to post pone
He says it's ok with a cheery tone
Covering  up on the hurt and the feeling of being alone

What can I do or what can I say?
To make those emotions go away
"It's Jesus that you need!"
Sometimes I wanna scream in his face
But with that tone and emotions evoke
Is his true happiness and salvation
My real priority?

It's like you have prayed all you can
And cried out with all your heart
Placing his live in God's hands
But his very dull future remains a dull future
More accidents to come
Bigger debts that amounts to figures I don't want to think of
And you look at God and just ask God

You pray until you go numb
Cos it has been that way your whole life
And I'm entering my third decade
But his life has been nothing but a poor facade

I'll just have to hold onto the little faith that I have for him right now
And pray that God will enlarge and expand it
Giving me a reason to live and believe
That he would be saved before he passes on
Although it seems so impossible
But my God is the God of the impossible 
And it's not by might
But His that he will be saved

As for my dear friend's brother who just passed away
I pray that his family will all feel ok
Although it may be a hard time to pull through
I pray that this crisis will lead them to Christ
Please Lord
Show them Your Glory!

For in times when life seem so fragile
Like a solid vase with crack lines on it
Or when our lives feel like they are hanging by a thread
Know that that is pure, strong golden thread
That would eventually turn into a strong golden rope
With God at the other end
And right here in your heart
You have nothing to worried about
Just look at Him 
And see those worries fade away
The same way I have felt many times
Even when LIFE IS FRAGILE...

PS: Life back home here is not that bad. I'm actually having loads of fun with family and friends that there's not enough time! And lots and lots of people have been wanting to talk to me about my spiritual experiences, booking time and having lunch and all. So God really is my silverlining. But sometimes I don't know what to conclude on situations when we get literally pulled in between 'life and death'. But God is still good. And like what I said in blogs define, I'm just trying to be real here. Cos life as a Christian is not all fancy-pancy with sunshines and rainbow all day. It would definitely be in Eternity, but right here, right now, I'm still in the midst of battling different things, but with God on myself, who can be against me?

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