Friday, March 27, 2009

I hate the word "perfect"

I hate the word perfect
Although I'm a perfectionist at nature
Don't know why I'm born like that
Just really hate it sometimes

I hate the word perfect
Cos it cripples me from doing things
Afraid that I may not accomplish my own standard
I just don't even dare to start

I hate the word perfect
Because I know no one is
But my perfectionist nature
Judges them from within

I hate the word perfect
Cos then I force myself to think
That I can be perfect in academics, ballet and piano
But I don't have Straight A's and don't always get distinction
So why am I forcing myself
To be deceive and to fall into depression

I hate the word perfect
Because I am a perfectionist at heart
Giving myself permission to complain about this imperfect world
Nothing seems to be good enough
For this little perfectionist

But then in Philippians 3:12 it says
"Not that I am already attained, or am already perfected;
but I press on, that I may lay hold of that
for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold for me."

Yet in Matthew 5:48 it says
"Therefore you shall be perfect,
just as your Father in Heaven as perfect."

I hate the word perfect
Because in this case where there are contradictions even in verses
I know I shouldn't take them out of the context
but my perfect self will just wanna choose one

So Father I pray that You will help me
To give myself more grace
To know that I dont have to be perfect in everything I do
To know that I dont have to pressure myself till the point of death
just so there can be perfection in this world
To know that no matter how many times I fail
or even look down upon myself
I will know that I am perfect in Your eyes
For I was made like You
Like Father, Like Son
Or in this case,
Like Father, Like Daughter.... =)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Tragedy, forgivable? (part 2)

"Where's your phone" were the first words that came out.
Not even a "hello" or a greeting
No one in their innocent mind
Will talk about a phone the first moment they see you.

So if she did'nt sound innocent
She might be guilty
But how can it be
Was it really her?

A teacher's son's "bob the builder" lunchbox was also stolen
And she too suspected her
But nothing was said
As we dont like pointing fingers

Cutting the long story short
All evidence pointed at her
She was confronted
But everything's still blur

She didn't admit
and we have no proof
no eye-witnesses
nothing physically strong

But still!
We all know its her...
What can we do?
Lodge a report, or just retrench her?

That wont be a wise or Godly thing to do
I'm glad I've forgiven her
But truth is
It is easy to forgive but hard to forget.

I see her everyday now
and there are still some bitterness here and there
But all I see is a girl asking for help
For love, for money and most of all for God
(although she's already a christian)

She may not know she needs God
But who doesnt?
So all I can be right now
Is a representative of Jesus.

I hope she can see God through me
In the little ways I do
Loving her unconditionally
Not too make her more guilty
But 'cos its the right thing to do...