Friday, January 22, 2016

The Need for Grief

Feeling overwhelmed with a rush of duties
I control my feelings
The quickening of my heartbeat
Like a dam ready to burst forth
Emotions can go wild with no control

Something someone says
Or a comment made by another
Like a thumb on a gun's trigger
Ready to fire
All emotions will yield

I rush to the car before the tears flow
An expression of frustration, anger or sadness
But somehow this time it felt different
For it wasn't anguish that I felt
Just pure and utter relief

And as I begin to listen to the worship song in my car
I begin to realized that the process of grief is much needed
The well of emotion we have would never be complete 
Without the presence of sadness in it
Just like cute, blue "Sadness" in the movie

No point hiding or covering up
Letting it go brings such joy
An immeasurable pleasure
Of just being human
A beautiful state of art filled with mix emotions

A Pastor once told me that it's important to grief
Allowing oneself that process quickens the healing
Helping us stay in touch of our own emotions
And I've been through depression before
It's way better to cry than to try but can't at all

So in that moment of my drive home
I think of the people I'd love to confide in
A shoulder to cry one
But deep down I know it was not what I needed
For time alone sometimes are the most essential

So grieve
Whether you're a boy or girl
I wonder how guys can keep it all together
Imagine the un-shed tears they have
Deep down and pressed at the bottom of their emotional tank

I just grieved and I'm now happy
Back on my laptop and off to work
Like what happened didn't just happen
Surprised at my state of "ok" mind
I guess God created that emotion for a reason

It's not a sign of defeat
But a necessary emotion
A moment worth enduring
Because in it it's truly redeeming...