Thursday, April 29, 2010

Standing on Transition Point

Standing on a transition point
Not sure what is the next step

Am I on a cliff?
Ready to soar up high
Like an eagle to spread my wings and fly
Or to fall in my failures
With the feeling of defeat

Or on a road?
Where thorns and nails are in my way
Prickling me in a painful way
Or smooth tar up ahead
Where the journey isn't all that bad

Am I by the sea?
The salt water washing painful memories
Healing and making things new
Or salt added to wounds
Just pure pain and hurtful

Or in a dessert?
Where everything is dry
A stagnant feeling with no one in sight
Or refreshed and filled with hope
When I find my well

Am I in a forest?
The concrete jungle
I will learn so much for everything's new
Or lost and not found
Camouflaged by my surrounding

Or on a ship?
Ready to sail to the farthest seas
In search of what life really means
Or ready to sink in
Into a sea of immorality

Am I on top of the world?
Feeling liberated and full of freedom
I'll try not to get distracted by all the glitter
Or would I fall in abomination
Into the traps of this sinful world

One thing I know
Is that I'm on a journey of faith
May be in the dessert or by the sea
In the oceans or floating on a ship
But wherever I go
Something I know
Is that my Daddy King
He's always with me

It may be scary
It may be fun
It may be stuff I've never expected
But standing here on this transition point
I am fully secured
For I know that like the center of gravity
Things will eventually come back to its core
God is my anchor!
Please see my point! =)

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Counting down my days,,,

I'm counting down my days
Days where I'll be in college
Can't wait for this new phase
The adventures & challenges I'll face!

Nervous and naive
But excited and curious
Scared and shy
But full of life

All kinds of emotions
Bottled up inside
Hope they don't erupt
When counting down is up!

Who will my roommate be?
What kinda friends will I make?
Will I be accepted?
Will I be cheated?

When will I adapt?
Will I fit in?
How about my grades?
Will I get through this phase?

So many questions
Running through my head
Hopefully they'll get their answers
In my college days up ahead

So many needs
So many wants
Will I succumb to peer pressure
Or be secured and rest assured

That even though I may want
New clothes, new shoes
And everything in style
My God, My Lord is what I truly want

You'll be there with me every step of my way
As I walk through this leg of my life
Not sure whether it's through a tunnel or stream
A road in the dessert, city or beach.

It may be all the above
And even more then what is searched
But for all that's unearth
It'll make up for what it's worth

God is by my side
So who can be against me?
It's me and God against the world
Or maybe in this case "college"

When I cry myself to sleep the first few nights
Please be my "shoulder to cry on"
When I get lost on campus
Please show me the way
When I feel neglected
Please make me feel accepted
When I feel lonely
Please help me know You're beside me
When I don't have a friend
Please bring one in my path
When assignment are overwhelming
Please help me stay in Your presence
When the world seems upside-down
Please help me get it right-side up

And for the hundreds of questions that are yet unheard of
My fears, my doubts, me feelings,my anticipation
My hopes, my dreams, my loves, my LIFE
You'll be my answer that will truly be right

I pray for my classes, my hostel, my roomie
People that I cross path with
The church that I'm going to
And most of all my journey of faith with You

I promise that You'll be on my mind
The center of my life
The One who drives and motivates me
In living life to the fullest

For even as I walk through this phase
Arm linked with You
Counting down my days
To whatever I'll face......

You'll be with me so
College life here I come!!!!

12 days to go

Friday, April 23, 2010

Idol Gives Back

Just watched "Idol Gives Back" and it's great to see so many stars use their status, fame and name to give to America and parts of Africa plus places like Ethiopia. However, it was quite sad and mind boggling to see so much poverty and diseases robbing the lives of millions each year. It's crazy!!! To think that we already have so many problems affecting our lives, yet sitting on the couch watching malaria kill a child every 30 seconds is just way beyond the biggest most possible hard-felt issue I have gone through! We're talking about lives of innocent children here! (Makes my desire to get a few more jeans seem so cheap)...

"Idol Gives back"
More than just a charity act
Stars, celebs, and people with respect
Coming together for the sake of a fact

The fact that millions of children die of Malaria
Malnutrition and bad conditions

Women giving the best gift ever
The gift of life and they die trying
Babies born without mummies
Husbands left alone with no companion

Seeing all these makes me wonder
The same question I hate myself asking
"If there's a God, why all the suffering?"
"Why the pain, the hurt, the dying?"

Seeing this videos makes me wanna cry
Does God see them and does He cry?
If He does why not reach out
For they'll be healed without a doubt

There are so many questions I wonder "Why" & "How"
Thought I was convicted and already believe
That God sees and help
But why all these?

It just doesn't seem fair
Children living life without a care
Picking food, choosing toys
Which is quite a share

While other kids strive to live from day-to-day
A 10 dollar mosquito net could save a live
And a mere few dollars could bring food on the table
A dollar a day to raise a child

I'm glad that "American Idol" sees
And is helping as much as can be
But does God see?
And smile upon the effort of these people?

It's crazy to ask such a question
For we already know the true fact
That He cares more than we know
Even helps where man cant

But seeing this footage
I cant help but wonder
God You're the answer
And I want to see
If "Idol" can help
So can You a million times more!
Just help me trust and believe
That these people have the aid they need
And faith in You cos that'll determine
Whether they're suffering will end with Joy.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Sunday, April 4, 2010

His blood was shed for me

"His blood was shed for me"
Sometimes I wonder how can that truly be
We all know the story
Understand the doctrine
But does it really sink in?
As literal and as much as it should?

Every Good Friday
We remember His death
The thorn of crown He wore
The stripes that He took
The heavy cross He bared
The nail pierced hands.

We can just typically say
"Yes, He did it for me"
But do we really understand the essence of it?
The true meaning of that cross?
We may overlook it as another "tradition" we do every year
To remember the death of our Lord Jesus Christ

This Easter I came to realize
That "Yes, He did it for me"
And He did it wholeheartedly
With fear and trembling
And agony in the form of blood drops
With the body of a human
Mortal like everyone of us no less

On that cross more than 2000 years ago
He hung on that cross
With me on His mind
I wasn't even born yet
Not even the hundreds of generation before me
But there He was thinking of me

And so was He of You!
It may sound crazy or even insane
For someone to be in their most excruciating pain
Yet they don't focus on the pain
But on the love for us undeserving sinners
Thinking about you
Which made it all worth it

John 3:16
For God so loved the world
that He gave His only begotten Son
For whosoever believes in Him
shall not perish but have everlasting life

Come to the Father
For we all need His love
Love that no man could give
For the love portrayed
Was through the blood
And those nail pierced hands...

Who would do that for you?
Shed his or her blood for your redemption even if you are not worthy...

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Mystified to be Clarified

Life's a blur right now
Don't know why and how
Things mystified
Life's far cry
To answers
Not seen or loud

Where should I go?
What should I do?
Everything's new
Do I do as I should
Or do as I would or even could

For these "would", "could's" and what not
May not even seem what they should
I may be lying to myself
Subconsciously altering God's still small voice
Focusing on signs and advice
When the answer is there but I just don't see

In this new phase I go
Another step closer to adulthood and maturity
I imagine the worse which is kinda like a curse
I'm steping on lilypads that floats but dont hold
Every step may be just lucky
And I may just drown once I hit reality
Stepping onto a lilypad that just look's pretty

But life's not like that
And it should not be
For God is my Rock
My One true security

Life's no lilypad
Not even thin ice or a castle of cards
For with God I'm more than secure
In that I can be truly assured

Things may be hazy
And I may be blinded
By the haze or mist
Or even the morning sun
But just for that teeny tiny moment
Temperal really,
When everything seems obscure
And my life's seem to be on hold
You will be with me
Every step of the way
As I make it out of this mysterious garden
Into clarity, the centre of Your will

When burdens are heavy
Your yoke is light
When trials are tough
You'll give me the peace
When my faith is shaken
You'll be my Rock
When there are so many options
You'll reveal Your opinion
(Giving me the choice of freedom,
I promise I'll choose with wisdom)

When I'm in darkness
You are the light
When I'm weak
You are strong
When things get out of hand
You are in control
When I have issues
You are bigger than my problems

When life is all mystified
There you'll clarify
Slowly but surely
I surrender my life

Just use me
Broken by You & for You...

Thursday, April 1, 2010

To not Act on Compassion

"To not act on compassion"
Sounds harsher than what's supposedly conveyed
Like we should cut out all emotions
Of care and sympathy towards the less fortunate

I was given this advice
When my sis and I wanted to take in a stray cat
But our house condition didn't approve
And we were told not to act on what we felt

Didn't make much sense then
Let alone made me despise the fact
But now looking back
It seems more true than just a mere simple act

"To Not Act On Compassion"
We may have to read between the lines
Or focus on the sentence in this case
For to it there's more than sense

You see, I'm very compassionate at heart
And at times it had in back, hit me hard
Lost my handphone, lost lots of money
Thinking relationships were as sweet as honey

Putting people in front of myself
Trying to not think of oneself
To be like what Jesus wanted me to be?
A friend to everyone else?

" be wise as serpents and as innocent as doves..."
A verse in Matthew my mom keeps reminding me
I really need that right now
Cos here in KL all I wanna do is give money to those around me
(as in the guy with one leg begging outside the bank)
(and the old man selling maps, he's old but still working, so why not?)

"But is that what God really wants me to be?"
Its really a tough question and is one of those
Where I cant give myself an answer
As quick as when "I WANT AN ANSWER!"

For in the bible He also asked us to give up everything
Like sell our stuff and follow Him
But do I do that out of context?
Or read it as some kind of metaphoric statement

Its hard right now
Why do I have such a soft heart
Which cost myself so much pain
Cos some people take my kindness for granted and take all else away...

I guess I'll have to keep learning
To sometimes put my head over heart
Rather than just follow my heart
And I'll keep learning as long as I'm on this life's long journey...

God, I know You're here with me
On these trip to somewhere special
But now the road is so tough and mystified
Please help me get through to see the light

I wanna be in the center of Your destiny!
But not where I'm pushed by emotions
And lacking in intelligence
To make the right choices in life.....

For you are the only answer,
The problem to my solutions,
The only friend I can truly trust,
The balm for my wounding heart...