Wednesday, December 22, 2010


Didn't know it would have gone this far
How relationships have gone ajar
Who is to be blame
No one will be named

No point pointing fingers

But to really open our ears

To hear each other out

And to listen to how we sound

We all have our point of views
Perceptions and assumptions

From all different angles

No one is an angel

The longer into a relationship

The more you
will see
That no one is perfect

I'm talking about me

When the situatio
n is under control
And "As long as you're happy"

Another statement someone else throws
And tension and confusion without mercy they roll

The hurt of people ganging up on you

May not just be that

But sometimes the w
ay we perceive things
Is really not what they want conveyed

At least some of us are still ok

Talked to a friend and "I'm fine" is what he says

Hope that's the truth

As he sleeps with peace on the bed he lays

I'm truly grateful to the dear people

Which God has placed around me

Every single one of them

I have learned something from
It's just crazy how God works sometimes

Making sure I'm cared for and loved by those around me
(Well at least I hope XD)

But for now as emotions and hormones run wild

While true friendships are worth taking the extra mile...

As I lay down a
nd try sleeping
The feeling of hurt I'm no more controlling

I succumb to the emotions that is so overpowering

And just allow my tears to start falling
Saddened by the fact that I'm not even praying

For God is really to whom I should be talking
Somehow I know that its not by feeling

But by truly believing

That these relationships are really worth keeping...

And that's exactly, what I will do.

East to West....(Tarc Christmas Nite 2010)

16th December 2010
It was more than what I could comprehend
Our college's CF Christmas Nite
It was way more than a beautiful sight

Going a few posts back
I wondered whether doing the things I did
Was really worth doing at all
Or was I drowning in my own sea of busyness

Turns out it was really worth it
The sweat, tears and should I say blood
(blood in the drama that is...)
The many prayers, planning and preparation
On that night everything was in motion

The fact that even the day before, during our rehearsals
Scripts were still changing and needed amending
The place wasn't ready and everything was messy
It felt like a disaster and there was no answer

But God came and He interfered
Putting things into place
In His own mysterious ways
Its still a wonder, I must say

Suddenly there were enough ushers
And the food was nice
Good worship
And a wonderful sketch

But most importantly it was the people
The precious souls that came
I hope in God's Kingdom
They're here to stay

As we were reminded of the finished work on the cross
For some it was just the beginning
For its the first time they hear it
That Jesus died, and life becomes a whole new meaning

As I saw my 2 friends with their hands lifted up
And the only 2 who actually stood up
I can't help but jump for joy (like literally)
And allow my eyes to tear up a little

The joy I felt was so overwhelming
Making it clear that everything was worth it
The questions, pain and doubts
All fade away and never shall they stay

"As far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us"
Psalms 103:12

God came that night
He touched us gently
For those who've known Him
I believe we've grown closer
For those who've just received Him
I pray it won't be superficial
For I believe with my whole heart, mind and soul
That that night for those who raised their hands
And surrendered their hearts to God
Received the precious gift of all
And that's the gift of Salvation
The finished work of Christ

Beaten and tortured
Worse than an animal
Sinless and blameless
Yet He took it all in

Every stripe
Every whip
Every scar

Every flesh torn apart
Every hair pulled out
Every limb and bone that was broken

He took it for you and me...

That nail pierced hands
That crown of thorns
That rugged cross on the hill

This Christmas I have understood what it all truly means.
(And I pray the hundreds that came will experience the same.)

To God be the Glory!

Things turned out better than ok=)

It is truly by the grace of God!

Monday, December 13, 2010

I wish happiness could be done this easy...

Whatever I'm doing, is it really worth it?

For the first time in a long time
I broke down last night
Overwhelmed by the many things to do
Assignments, presentation, tutorials
Clothes to wash, clothes to fold
My room's a mess and I must confess
That this time it's not me
But it's everything I do and all in between.

Afraid that I might not reach deadlines
Or even do things while hitting a standard
I keep wondering what's wrong with me
Didn't I manage my time better this time?

Rewind... I have no time at all!
Clothes soaking in buckets for 2 to 3 days
Just because there's no time at all
I try and I try
But there seems to be no way.

Rushing here and rushing there
It's all for Him as so we say
But is this the real meaning of life?
The busy life that I'm living
What testimony is my room mate seeing?

There's no more "me-time"
What the heck "there's no more me-and-God time"!!
I'm in my room for just 3 reasons
To sleep, to get ready for showers, oh my and that's just it!
No more self-quality time to journal or play my guitar
To decorate my room or to just stare at the ceiling
Reflecting on the gift of life that God has given me.

My Facebook has 70 over notifications and its still running
But not 1 am I touching until I have some real time.
Wanna chat with my sister but time doesn't permit
Wanna talk to mom but there's no waking moment
Where I can quiet down and breath.

What actually is all this for?
Spending most time with most of my kind
When do I spend time with my friends who are still lost?

Is this what God wants?
For me to be here, there and everywhere?
What is the whole point of it?
I think I may have deviated my purpose of living...

Getting things wrong and timetables jumbled
Forgetting to spend time with Him
And friends He's put around me
I'm confused, disappointed and afraid
Confused, not knowing whether I should be doing the things I do
Disappointed, because I'm spending less time with God
And afraid because I may just fail in everything I do

For now as I drown into my own sea of busyness
Not knowing whether at the bottom of the sea a shark is waiting
To see me fall and sink way deep down low
And strike at anytime it might
I'll call onto God knowing He'll rescue me
Giving me His hand and pulling me out
Clearing the water in my lungs
The drowning feeling will subside
He'll let me know as I take control and start breathing again
The wrongs I've done and the priorities I've set
And He'll give me the answer to my question I didn't dare ask
Before I took that leap of stupidity
Into the sea of meaningless busyness
He'll let me know whether whatever I'm doing is really worth it...

Sunday, December 5, 2010