Tuesday, December 3, 2013

He Sees Me Through

It's past the exterior facet
Into my heart He sees
Whether true worship abounds
From deep within me

Days I wake up on the wrong side of bed
Mind instantly flooded with assignment deadlines
Thinking to myself whether they have ever left me
Or were they there substituting sweet dreams

A struggle to get up
That raging "war" with procrastination
Thoughts of defeat, desperation and hopelessness flood in
How do you even be that "women whom the devil fears when she wakes up?"

No one's at home so I blow my shofar
Hoping that something will break in the atmosphere
Took a shower and sang my heart out
"Shout to the Lord", my favorite classic

It was in that moment when I heard God speak
That He honored "that kind" of worship and lavished in it
Telling me that there is a time and place for corporate worship
But just as important a place for private worship

A place where I can sing my heart out and let it all out
Forgetting the accuracy of right harmonization
And worries of pitch perfect singing
Hitting that point of climax that is oh so liberating

Sometimes I do wonder what does God really hears
When He hears our worship
I bet He hears from a realm never accessed by any human being
Either that or keys and notes are powerless to Him
Defying what we call "out of tune"

He sees right through me and there's no room for pretense
Staged presence of how we "should" look during worship
He sees me through the storms
And He sees me through "me"

"Me"; sometimes the only hindrance between me and God
It could be a long journey in from the outside of my heart
I let go of that Simon Cowell "demon" (don't worry, it's just a metaphor :P)
And know that God won't judge my worship

In fact I believes He loves my sacrifice of worship
When it's real, raw and unhampered with
The sincerity and brokenness embedded in it
Something I could only give here on this earth

No point putting up a front with my Jesus
He knows my next thought before I can even think
He sees me through my darkest moments
And He sees me through "me"