Wednesday, December 22, 2010


Didn't know it would have gone this far
How relationships have gone ajar
Who is to be blame
No one will be named

No point pointing fingers

But to really open our ears

To hear each other out

And to listen to how we sound

We all have our point of views
Perceptions and assumptions

From all different angles

No one is an angel

The longer into a relationship

The more you
will see
That no one is perfect

I'm talking about me

When the situatio
n is under control
And "As long as you're happy"

Another statement someone else throws
And tension and confusion without mercy they roll

The hurt of people ganging up on you

May not just be that

But sometimes the w
ay we perceive things
Is really not what they want conveyed

At least some of us are still ok

Talked to a friend and "I'm fine" is what he says

Hope that's the truth

As he sleeps with peace on the bed he lays

I'm truly grateful to the dear people

Which God has placed around me

Every single one of them

I have learned something from
It's just crazy how God works sometimes

Making sure I'm cared for and loved by those around me
(Well at least I hope XD)

But for now as emotions and hormones run wild

While true friendships are worth taking the extra mile...

As I lay down a
nd try sleeping
The feeling of hurt I'm no more controlling

I succumb to the emotions that is so overpowering

And just allow my tears to start falling
Saddened by the fact that I'm not even praying

For God is really to whom I should be talking
Somehow I know that its not by feeling

But by truly believing

That these relationships are really worth keeping...

And that's exactly, what I will do.

East to West....(Tarc Christmas Nite 2010)

16th December 2010
It was more than what I could comprehend
Our college's CF Christmas Nite
It was way more than a beautiful sight

Going a few posts back
I wondered whether doing the things I did
Was really worth doing at all
Or was I drowning in my own sea of busyness

Turns out it was really worth it
The sweat, tears and should I say blood
(blood in the drama that is...)
The many prayers, planning and preparation
On that night everything was in motion

The fact that even the day before, during our rehearsals
Scripts were still changing and needed amending
The place wasn't ready and everything was messy
It felt like a disaster and there was no answer

But God came and He interfered
Putting things into place
In His own mysterious ways
Its still a wonder, I must say

Suddenly there were enough ushers
And the food was nice
Good worship
And a wonderful sketch

But most importantly it was the people
The precious souls that came
I hope in God's Kingdom
They're here to stay

As we were reminded of the finished work on the cross
For some it was just the beginning
For its the first time they hear it
That Jesus died, and life becomes a whole new meaning

As I saw my 2 friends with their hands lifted up
And the only 2 who actually stood up
I can't help but jump for joy (like literally)
And allow my eyes to tear up a little

The joy I felt was so overwhelming
Making it clear that everything was worth it
The questions, pain and doubts
All fade away and never shall they stay

"As far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us"
Psalms 103:12

God came that night
He touched us gently
For those who've known Him
I believe we've grown closer
For those who've just received Him
I pray it won't be superficial
For I believe with my whole heart, mind and soul
That that night for those who raised their hands
And surrendered their hearts to God
Received the precious gift of all
And that's the gift of Salvation
The finished work of Christ

Beaten and tortured
Worse than an animal
Sinless and blameless
Yet He took it all in

Every stripe
Every whip
Every scar

Every flesh torn apart
Every hair pulled out
Every limb and bone that was broken

He took it for you and me...

That nail pierced hands
That crown of thorns
That rugged cross on the hill

This Christmas I have understood what it all truly means.
(And I pray the hundreds that came will experience the same.)

To God be the Glory!

Things turned out better than ok=)

It is truly by the grace of God!

Monday, December 13, 2010

I wish happiness could be done this easy...

Whatever I'm doing, is it really worth it?

For the first time in a long time
I broke down last night
Overwhelmed by the many things to do
Assignments, presentation, tutorials
Clothes to wash, clothes to fold
My room's a mess and I must confess
That this time it's not me
But it's everything I do and all in between.

Afraid that I might not reach deadlines
Or even do things while hitting a standard
I keep wondering what's wrong with me
Didn't I manage my time better this time?

Rewind... I have no time at all!
Clothes soaking in buckets for 2 to 3 days
Just because there's no time at all
I try and I try
But there seems to be no way.

Rushing here and rushing there
It's all for Him as so we say
But is this the real meaning of life?
The busy life that I'm living
What testimony is my room mate seeing?

There's no more "me-time"
What the heck "there's no more me-and-God time"!!
I'm in my room for just 3 reasons
To sleep, to get ready for showers, oh my and that's just it!
No more self-quality time to journal or play my guitar
To decorate my room or to just stare at the ceiling
Reflecting on the gift of life that God has given me.

My Facebook has 70 over notifications and its still running
But not 1 am I touching until I have some real time.
Wanna chat with my sister but time doesn't permit
Wanna talk to mom but there's no waking moment
Where I can quiet down and breath.

What actually is all this for?
Spending most time with most of my kind
When do I spend time with my friends who are still lost?

Is this what God wants?
For me to be here, there and everywhere?
What is the whole point of it?
I think I may have deviated my purpose of living...

Getting things wrong and timetables jumbled
Forgetting to spend time with Him
And friends He's put around me
I'm confused, disappointed and afraid
Confused, not knowing whether I should be doing the things I do
Disappointed, because I'm spending less time with God
And afraid because I may just fail in everything I do

For now as I drown into my own sea of busyness
Not knowing whether at the bottom of the sea a shark is waiting
To see me fall and sink way deep down low
And strike at anytime it might
I'll call onto God knowing He'll rescue me
Giving me His hand and pulling me out
Clearing the water in my lungs
The drowning feeling will subside
He'll let me know as I take control and start breathing again
The wrongs I've done and the priorities I've set
And He'll give me the answer to my question I didn't dare ask
Before I took that leap of stupidity
Into the sea of meaningless busyness
He'll let me know whether whatever I'm doing is really worth it...

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Sunday, November 7, 2010

5th of November

5th of November
A day I'll remember

A dear sister saved
The enemy's work enslaved
Supernatural things abundant
We worshiped with heart abandon

Watched movies all the way to 6am
"My name is Khan" & "The Last Song"
Shows that people say I victimized them to watch
But if we didn't watch that, classic conversations like this would never happen.

Shah Rukh Khan: My name is Khan and I'm not a terrorist.
Andrew Ong: My name is Andrew & I'm not fat. My name is Tricia & I am short.
Tricia: My name is Andrew and I am fat.
Ee Rick Chan: My name is Ee Rick and I agree!
Shirly Bong, Justin Ooi Han-Juan just thinking about that day makes me SMILE!!!!=D

2 people found themselves on a bed that's not suppose to be...(kekeke...XD)
A snoring someone and A kind heart who didn't chase us out
Slept all the way to 12 in the afternoon
Did our devotion which was more then just good
(I guess it was the guilt of the whole situation,lol!)

Went to McD, went to Jusco
Never laughed so much in my lifetime
Never had so much fun with the opposite sex
But of course it was clean fun and ultimate joy

I wish we could take a picture to remember these wonderful days
But a certain someone is camera shy

Thank God first for saving our friend
Second for letting me choose the movies I chose XD
For allowing all of us to fall asleep (in safety)
Waking us up at 12 at noon
And then letting us have our quiet time with Him
Leading us to Jusco
And then having a memorable day in KFC, Jusco and then FOS
It kinda ended to soon..
Wish I could hold it in a capsule
And never ever let it go

But now it's just caught in my memory
At least I can rewind and replay it anytime I want
I hope to never forget that day
Where my heart with happiness swell...

Thank you God for the 5th of November.
I wish we could make it an Anniversary..hehe..

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Bring it on!

I had a bad day
K, so it started from yesterday
But didn't know it will spill over to today
And it hurts even as I say

Taking so many posts
Is it worth the cost?

Taking on the leadership of prayer meeting
And there's already people questioning my ways
What am I to do?
Seriously am so konfewsed!

People can really bring you down, don't they?
Whether it's inferiority, timidity or just plain jealousy
Don't understand why they can be so mean
Making every opportunity easier to give up and give in

But I'm glad that God's giving me these duties
Just the fact that I'm called and chosen
Makes me feel honored that He's trusting me
Giving me assignments that aren't always easy

And the post for E & F in CF
Thought it would be easy
But it takes more than that
Thank God for good mentors at hand

God is good
Giving me friends to put me on perspective
Not condoning self-pity
But righting priorities

So when I fall down and fall down again
I'll just pick myself up just yet again
For God has my back
And my faith still intact
Friends with spiritual maturity
Giving advice so profoundly
I have nothing to loose
And everything to gain

Yes, there will be a few people in my way
Friends that seem more like stumbling blocks
No, I won't let them make me feel inferior no more
For my identity is in Christ
And I'm saying that unapologetically

So say what you wanna say
And do what you wanna do
But remember when your laughing at the way I communicate with God
You're kinda laughing at God Himself...

He has my back
So just BRING IT ON!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

My Little Sis

"She sips her drink while her sister cuts her meat"

Haha..!That was the sentence our friend Jonathan said of me and Deb in a whisper into his fist while childishly filming a fake documentary of us during

Cynthia's farewell dinner. He was so impressed by the "so-called'' love me and my sis had that he wanted to do a documentary on "Sisterly Love" or something like that. Seriously? I just think he misses his sister back in NZ. The whole night he was in awe of the way Deb and I talked to each other, shared our food and respected each other. It was kinda stupid! lol, for him to be so amazed by it all cos I didn't really think it was anything special. It was us just being our normal selves! He was kinda distracting, talking into his own fist as a mic and pretending to describe our every move and act just like what you see in National Geography where the commentator speaks about the deer, lion or giraffe. We actually felt like animals!

When I asked him why is he doing that and to stop, he even went, "When you see National Geography documenting on deers, do you ever see a deer talk to the camera? no right? And that is exactly what you are doing! don't talk to the cameraman, just continue!" Talk about the utter discomfort of being filmed by a hand-shaped camera with a fake mic and every move described plus being compared to deers, of all things!! He kept saying "oh, I can feel the love" and "Oh, I may just cry here"...dramatic much! He also did the trick all reality shows do now to make things more interesting and controversial - make us fight. It didn't work cos the whole situation was hilarious and him doing that made it more funny than sad!

But somehow, I think the love between us sisters have gone deeper. Just like the saying "you don't know what you have til it's gone" means literally. Me going to KL have made me appreciate her a whole lot more!

My little Sis

Someone I miss

How I do wish

That I can give her a kiss!

(haha! cos she's such a tomboy she can't

even bear me kissing her on the cheek)

My little sis

Loves playing the bass

She scored so well

I'm truly amazed

(distinction for Grade 5 and one

of the highest score in Malaysia)

My little sis

Is so humble she'll be in a fit

If she sees what I wrote above

For she rather keeps
Her achievements to herself

(she's so humble a prophet had to tell her

its ok cos she's humble enough)

My little sis

Is crazy with cats

A cat-lover at heart

She even loves the strays

(she sometimes still talks about our cat-Angeldeo

who went missing a long time ago)

My little sis

Is good in almost everything

Studies, music and handling our youth group

She has it all under her wing

(and she does them without stress

but ease, how does she do that?

Must be God, =p)

My little sis

Is not so little anymore

She's bigger than me

Lots have thought that she's my older sis

(plus the increase in height after me leaving for KL,

just one inch and she jumps for joy..haih)

My little sis

Is growing up so fast

I bet with wings she can soar

For she's truly talented right to her core

(I hope her God-given talents would bring her far)

My little sis

Though I'm envious of her

Every time I see her play the guitar

I'll love her forever

(when could I ever play like she does?

Lord help me)

My little sis

Is growing in God's way

Telling me to not backslide in college

Praying for me as so she says

(I can really see her love for God)

My little sis

Is maturing so fast

Her "littleness" would not last

And the past would be "the past"

I wish I can freeze time

To go back and relive the past years

For I doubt I've truly appreciated her

And now I wanna redeem that

For we're growing up a tad too fast

Me off to college and she very well soon

We may never stay in the same house

If circumstances keeps us apart

I pray that she would keep that love inside of her

And never ever let it go

The love she has for God, friends and cats

Family, music and bass

That she may flourish into a beautiful flower

However tomboy she is

You never know she may one day be more girlier than me =)

Thank you God for giving me Deb

The best sister I could ever have

No one else could take her place

Help her in her journey ahead

As she pursue the things she loves

If its music show those who are against it

For I believe You have given the talents she deserve

For a greater purpose of Yours

(oh, did I tell you that she plays the drums, keyboard and guitar as well?

Any guy would be so lucky to have her,hehe...)

Bless her as she blesses others

With her strong but pure character

Pushing others to the right path

Never compromising her values

And thank you God for Jonathan!

For without him doing the lame documentary

I would not have seen what he saw

A bond shared between two sisters

Unconditional love and care

If it wasn't for him

I wouldn't have known how deeply and truly I love


Deb and her self-proclaimed million dollar song