A boy named Seth

It was Monday & I didn't get home straight after work. Just to help out, I asked whether any of the children needed to be put to bed for their afternoon nap. I was given Seth, this 3 year old boy- adorably cute.

Brought him up, turned on the air-con, and opened his sleeping bag. Lied next to him but he was really restless & too energetic, waking up and flipping books trying to read them. Asked him to lie down and to just close his eyes. Could'nt. Instead he started playing with a plaster on his knee. I asked him where & when did he get the bruise, somewhere at home I think. To my surprise he opened the plaster & there wasn't anything there. So he started sticking it all over himself, from his forehead to his arms and legs.

Ironically, I fell asleep.(not so good a teacher, huh) instead of putting him to sleep, he put me to sleep. I don't know how long was it, when another teacher came up to call him cos his car was here. I don't think he even slept! anyway.....

Later that day, and I mean way way later, as I was getting ready fora facial, I felt something came off my left elbow. And what was that, but Seth's plaster on a scar I had since I was about 3 or 4. Right there on my elbow. That sweet boy put his plaster on me maybe to ease the pain, maybe just for fun.... I don't really know. But this one's for him.

A boy name Seth
just 3 years old
yearn for acceptance
and even more to be loved.

He had family issues
at the tender age of 3
parents didn't live together
couldn't even face each other.

Supposed to put him to sleep
instead he put me to sleep
while I was dreaming
there he was healing.

A plaster on his knee
stuck to my elbow now
on a stitch scar I forgot
that was there years ago.

Don't know what was on his mind
or what was he thinking
but all I know
his heart is as pure as snow.

That plaster is in a book I'm reading
I'll treasure it not just when I'm dreaming
hopefully I'll be there the day he can write
so his name will be on the plaster, that will be so right.

My dear Seth
how I feel the pain when I see your eyes
tired from the shuffling
from going house to house.

How your mood swings
or how sad you look
maybe of something negative
a parent of yours made of the other.

But when I look deeper
straight into your heart
I see an innocent boy
who cant control the situations around him.

But don't be afraid, boy
for God is always near
Maybe I'll tell you about Him
when you're old enough to hear.

As for now just be yourself
loving and caring to the ones around you
wish I had a plaster to put on your heart
that way we'll be even, for you covered my scar.

Rest assure and know
you'll grow up a wonderful person
someone who loves family
never repeating mistakes of the ones you truly love.

I'll say a prayer for you
not only when I see the plaster
but whenever I'm thinking of you
making sure you're in God's hands.

So don't worry now
your safe and sound
surrounded by people who loves you
loved by a God who adores you

I will never forget you
wishing there were more people like you
situations indescribable
all because of a boy name Seth.

Before Bedtime

Going to bed tonight,
I feel a tinge of heaviness in my heart.
But deeper down there's this sheer joy
breaking out, bursting forth
through all the pains and emotions I feel.
The type of Joy I know,
no one but God can give.

I'm Lovin It...... and its not McDonalds

" I'm Lovin it" and this time is not about McDonalds. Its about kids in the Kindergarten I work in. Kids who are naughty yet innocent, childish yet mature, playful yet mindful, small in stature yet big in heart. So here it goes..

I love it... when Trinity comes up to me just to hold my hand

I love it... when Sarah innocently points at her mouth thinking that only her mouth needs wiping when actually half her face including her nose is covered in cream

I love it... when Zheng Xuan, this tall little naughty guy stands, back in front of me so that I can put my arms around him

I love it... when Yong Sheng hugged his cousin Zane on his 3 year old birthday

I love it... when Norman kept saying "I never eat before", the whole time I was eating Nasi Lemak and started being anxious when I was finishing my 2nd one

I love it... when I actually taught him the word 'Nasi Lemak'. And later as soon as he saw his mom and sis, he caught them by surprise saying he wants to eat Nasi Lemak

I Love it...when little "chilli padi" Novel comes up to me saying "wo yao pao pao" I love it... when Alexis comes to me and ask "you want me or not" adding "I want you orh, sit here eh"

I love it... when Sheryl asks us to write her name with a 'Dora' in the middle, so she can be like Dora from "Dora the explorer", and trust me, everything of hers is a Dora merchandise

I love it... when Levy runs up to me every morning just to give me a hug

I love it... when Chloe pretends to stick her head into her schoolbag, pretending to find something when her name for attendance is called

I love it... when Ryan doesnt want his mom to bring him down telling her to drive over to the place where they drop-off kids saying "cause I want teacher pao pao me"

I love it... when Carmen looks at a teacher and say "I no parking" when she didnt have space to sit on the floor

I love it... when Seth on the verge of tears says "Where's daddy?", than with an immediate response, just to comfort himself says, "daddy go buy doughnut"

I love it... when every kid comes up to me pointing to their noise thinking you'll understand that they need to wipe their flu, and the different response you get with each child. Some will blow hard, some will blow soft, some breath in making it worse, some blow with their mouth, some just do the action without really blowing and some just couldnt care less if their nose is not cleared.

It will take forever if I were to write down all the kids I come across with, this bunch are only from the 3 yrs old and its not even half the class. There are still the 4, 5 and 6 yrs old who have as special moments as this including BGR, friendships, growing up, looking pretty and striving to be 1st. As for now, I'm just taking life 1 step at a time, savouring my moment as a kindergarten teacher, no doubt about this job......

I'M LOVIN IT!!!

Just . Hold . My . Hand

JUST . HOLD . MY . HAND

"Just hold my hand", these 4 words is not as popular or as meaningful as the 3 widely used words - "I love you".... It may be said from a Daddy to his daughter or a boyfriend to his girlfriend, but what happens when it comes out from the mouth of a 4 year old girl to a 3 year old?

This started today, this afternoon in the kindergarten I work in. During daycare, the 3 & 4 year olds were making too much noise and after being warned a couple of times, the teachers couldn't stand it & decided to lure them into a dark classroom without realising they were gonna be punished.

The children about 20 of them went in thinking it was a game or something, but when the teacher asked them to sit on the floor without turning on the lights, some of them kinda understood, and others started crying.

They were left in there, door closed, lights off for a few minutes. By the time I went to take a look, 4 of them were already crying- 3 girls & a boy. The others just stared wide-eyed at us. But this 1 ridiculous boy was smiling so big I found it weird.

So the teachers decided to let them out, knowing they've learned their lesson. Everyone got out except the boy who couldn't stop smiling. Anyway, this is where the depth of it begins, on the way out, this girl Chloe said to another girl "just-hold-my-hand".

Standing there, looking at that picture & listening to these 4 words really striked me. Chloe was crying herself just moments ago & now she is here asking another more frightened girl to take hold of her hand for security, protection, comfort..... I bet she wasnt sure where they were heading cos they were just leaving the room maybe to face greater punishment. But she had the guts to put aside her fear, not knowing what lies ahead and go through this, at the same time helping to lessen the fear of a little girl.

She was acting way beyond her age, better than some young moms, thinking of how her dear little friend was feeling. Just the thought of this really puts me to shame. I realise that what we did to this kids wasn't really abuse I guess, but we were wrong to do such a mean thing. But on the hind side of it, I had a chance to look into a real-life movie, where a girl takes up all her courage to care for the weak despite circumstances......

To be continued.....

Abstracts

Sometimes I don't know what to do
But all I know is to look up to You

Sometimes I just cant seem to understand
But You're always there helping me make a stand

Sometimes things can go all weary
But You'll turn up making things easy

Sometimes stuff aren't what they seem
But in everything You'll always be seen

Sometimes we cant control what life throws at us
But You're always there ready to catch us from falling

Sometimes life may seem like one big blur
But behind that, You're the who's near

Sometimes life can be such a mess
But then it turns out to be abstract
A beautiful picture, hard to define
Straight lines & gentle curves
Some ups some downs
Some strong some soft
something our finite mind can never ever
truly comprehend

I hate the word "perfect"

I hate the word perfect
Although I'm a perfectionist at nature
Don't know why I'm born like that
Just really hate it sometimes

I hate the word perfect
Cos it cripples me from doing things
Afraid that I may not accomplish my own standard
I just don't even dare to start

I hate the word perfect
Because I know no one is
But my perfectionist nature
Judges them from within

I hate the word perfect
Cos then I force myself to think
That I can be perfect in academics, ballet and piano
But I don't have Straight A's and don't always get distinction
So why am I forcing myself
To be deceive and to fall into depression

I hate the word perfect
Because I am a perfectionist at heart
Giving myself permission to complain about this imperfect world
Nothing seems to be good enough
For this little perfectionist

But then in Philippians 3:12 it says
"Not that I am already attained, or am already perfected;
but I press on, that I may lay hold of that
for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold for me."

Yet in Matthew 5:48 it says
"Therefore you shall be perfect,
just as your Father in Heaven as perfect."

I hate the word perfect
Because in this case where there are contradictions even in verses
I know I shouldn't take them out of the context
but my perfect self will just wanna choose one

So Father I pray that You will help me
To give myself more grace
To know that I dont have to be perfect in everything I do
To know that I dont have to pressure myself till the point of death
just so there can be perfection in this world
To know that no matter how many times I fail
or even look down upon myself
I will know that I am perfect in Your eyes
For I was made like You
Like Father, Like Son
Or in this case,
Like Father, Like Daughter.... =)

Tragedy, forgivable? (part 2)

"Where's your phone" were the first words that came out.
Not even a "hello" or a greeting
No one in their innocent mind
Will talk about a phone the first moment they see you.

So if she did'nt sound innocent
She might be guilty
But how can it be
Was it really her?

A teacher's son's "bob the builder" lunchbox was also stolen
And she too suspected her
But nothing was said
As we dont like pointing fingers

Cutting the long story short
All evidence pointed at her
She was confronted
But everything's still blur

She didn't admit
and we have no proof
no eye-witnesses
nothing physically strong

But still!
We all know its her...
What can we do?
Lodge a report, or just retrench her?

That wont be a wise or Godly thing to do
I'm glad I've forgiven her
But truth is
It is easy to forgive but hard to forget.

I see her everyday now
and there are still some bitterness here and there
But all I see is a girl asking for help
For love, for money and most of all for God
(although she's already a christian)

She may not know she needs God
But who doesnt?
So all I can be right now
Is a representative of Jesus.

I hope she can see God through me
In the little ways I do
Loving her unconditionally
Not too make her more guilty
But 'cos its the right thing to do...