Content with Life

Everyday we take things for granted
Not appreciating the car we have
The roof over our heads
The free education
Let alone the 'almost' clean air we breath in
At least we're still alive!

Driving back home
I thought of the conversation I had
The things shared
The miracles and blessings God offered
And just couldnt help
But sigh and be in awe of what God has relieved me off
Of all the trials and tribulations

Of course I've been through my fair share of "unfortunate events"
Talk about depression, peer pressure, rejection, self-consciousness
But God has really and I mean really spared me on other "tough stuff"
The journey I had so far has been a very humbling experience
Maybe I can share another time
When the time is right
Cos whatever shared will be a huge surprise
Except for those who witnessed the craziness of that phase

What I went through was quite big
I will say it was kinda or really like a "life or death" matter
But I learned from my mistakes
And asked for forgiveness
For I've put not only myself but those around me
Through days of sleepless nights and haunting memories

BUT for now.....

I'm content with life

For my life's not only mine

But it also belongs to God

For He knitted me in my mother's womb

I've been through happy times

I've been through tough times

But now I see the light at the end of the tunnel

Even though the tunnel was a very dark one

I'm grateful for the "Kenari" I drive

And for the Kindy I work at

For my family and friends

But mostly my faith

Don't get me wrong

I'm nobody perfect

Though I was an extreme perfectionist

A side of me that almost crippled myself

I though God was perfect

Oh well He is

But we were all born with sin

So why try the unforeseen

That's a part of me

I have left behind

For what's left ahead

Is all in God's hands

For now my heart is filled with gratitude

To the One I truly adore

I love Him so much

Words are not enough

He knows my every detail

My likes, my dislikes, my ugly side

But He is ever willing to forgive and comfort

And change me to the beauty of His own likeness

Same with you!

Just give your heart to Him

And he'll show you everything

From things unknown to infinity

Be content with life

For if you have running water

A roof over your head

And 3 meals a day

You are better than 80%

Of the worlds population

Whom don't share the same luxuries

We have but take for granted

Content with life

That's whats I'll be

For all these I don't deserve

Fallen short of the Glory of God

But He doesn't count this against me

My sins are washed away

As far as the East is from the West

With God I'll go on this quest

How much do you love me?

Was sitting next to a girl preferably known as ''Dora" from "Dora the Explorer" in a 3 year old class while they were learning their 1,2,3's.... she's really cute but wasn't really paying attention and suddenly she looked up to me and asked," How much do you love me?"

I was quite taken aback maybe because of the sincerity and maturity of such a question coming out from a 3 year old, or maybe never in my life would someone ask me that, maybe until then...

She wasn't finished yet, she followed asking "5 or 10?" Then was when I realized to her, the fullnest of love is 10 cos her mind can only comprehend the magnitude of love as 1 to 10, 1 being the less and 10 the most!

I told her 2o, and she went "huh?".... How naive but cute of her! She said she loved me 10 and that truly made my day! Because to her mind, that's the most she can give, for she has only learned up to 10, and that to her is the most! Made me think of God's love for us and more importantly our love for God...

The fullness of love
How much is it?
Can we ever comprehend?
Have we ever felt it?

There's so many types of love
Like from the book "The 5 love languages"
But I bet there's not only 5
I'm sure there's so much more

Love undefined
The world is full of it
But are they truly pure love?
The love that warms us inside out

Singers sing about it
Actors exemplify it
But are those the right ways or words
That truly define true love?

Maybe I want a different kind of love
A love that only my Dad in Heaven could give
A love that is named "Agape"
Easy to convey

Like from "Songs of Solomon"
How it was referred to as
"Unearned love God have for humanity"
We don't deserve it, but yet He still gives it

Thank You God
For giving me Your love
I really need it
And so does the ones around me

I want to say "I Love You"
With all of my heart
Every star in the sky
Is an "I Love You" to You

If 10 is the fullest of love
Then I'll give You a million of tens
Though it may not make any sense
To a child its everything more then just sense

I don't really know how to measure love
But I know its truly endless
We really need Your ruler of love
For the love in this world never measures up

Help me bring love to those who need it
Like the kid with no pants
And the beggar with the stick
Give them feelings that only Your love can bring

Give me love like no other
And also through people and others
For you've put friends around me
That experience the same love as me

They are all part of Your family
May we give you all the Glory
Basking in Your presence
And in all the fullness of Your love

Bring love to this world
For its a necessity that's lacking
Governments talk about everything
Except the need of truly loving

Now the question isn't how much God loves us
For we know as stated in the bible
It's when God asks us
"How much do you love me?"

Whats our answer going to be?
For it'll determine the rest of our lives
The purpose and reason we're living
Care-free or God fearing

I know my answer
So how about you
We all need Gods Love
To love Him back we must do

Jesus I love you
So much more than life
That is my answer
For the moment You're gonna ask

"HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE ME?"

*The last paragraph got me skeptical, cos I'm not sure whether I'm brave enough to be persecuted and lose my life, I mean we can all say that we'll never deny Christ but when the timing comes, will we chicken out? Almost rephrased it but felt in my spirit that I have to state it to be accountable to myself! So it's kinda like a promise to God.... My life is in His hands no matter what happen

Uncontrollable Ironic Situations

As I lay my head to sleep here
Safe and Sound on my bed
Under my protective roof
Somewhere in Sumatra
Kids are being victims of a horrendous typhoon

Not only kids but adults too
The rich the poor
The ones classified as "pretty" or "ugly"
None can escape
For this natural disasters are always merciless

These rage of Mother Nature
Never cares who you are
No status stops her
For you're nothing before her
Just another small thing she ticks of with her finger

While we enjoy seafood
And fellowship round the table
Laughing & drinking to our hearts contend
People are suffering from waves of the very same sea
We caught our delicious food from

Tsunami hits
And millions go missing
The waves so fast
Coming from a distance
You wont be fast enough to say the words "run fast"

The waters swallow humans a whole
Leaving us nothing to hold
Bones and corpse lying around
Are just a small fraction
Of the aftermath of these

We go to the movies enjoying our show
Just us and the screen nothing in between
We laugh when its a happy scene
And cry when its touching
Oblivious of the earthquake happening in China

So many are suffering buried underground
Not knowing whether they're alive or dead
Rescue workers work their head off
Trying to save whats left
Of these unforgiving disaster

People are in clubs
Having the times of their lives
Smoking away & getting wasted
Living just for fun, money never an issue
While millions in Africa is dying of hunger

They are grateful for the next day they're still alive
They fight for whats right
For they fight for their lives
No designer items
Barely things for survival

These situations are beyond my control
But I know my purpose in life
And I'm gonna live life to the fullest
I may ask God why sometimes
Good things happen to bad people
And bad things happen to good people
But beyond that I'm gonna question no further
For its no use sitting here and not rising
To my own calling that was called upon me
I'll do what is right not for the sake
But for the sake of a good cause
I'm no Supergirl neither do I wanna play god
But I'm gonna make the world a better place
With the help of God
With one smile at a time
One hug, a word of comfort, an acknowledgment

My dreams to go to Africa to see the children there
But am I really ready?
And prepared to see what I'm gonna see
The hurting children
Malnutrition, HIV, Kwashiorkor
And the list goes on
Am I ready for all that?
Mentally, Physically, emotionally
And most of all spiritually
Will I start blaming God?
I sure hope not

For everything happens for a reason
And there's a season for that moment
Things are bad so we can see God's goodness in them
They are dark so we can see God's light more clearly
Bad things happen so we can see God's hand even more strongly
We just have to be optimistic
And give our lives to God
Letting Him take over
For every situation or position
That we cant control
We'll just have to leave it to God
For He's always in control

A heart made of stone

I'm sitting here on my bed
Taking in what I just heard
Didn't know it'll come so hard
Like a lightning it hit so fast

Closed the phone
And didn't know
That the tears will fall
I could not stop

He needs money
so what, I forgot
How can he scream & shout
When money is the issue that's whats about

He should be responsible
That's the way it goes
But in this weird case
Its the way around

Not earning enough to survive
Mainly because of his strong pride
Always wanting to become the boss
Whom always counts his own loss

Family and friends
Have helped all they can
But he's driven them hot
Enough for them to avoid

I'm stuck in this position
Where I really wanna help
But its a situation
Where helping seems hurting

His anger scares
And his pride kills
Everyone around him
But mostly himself

All these started
The moment he walked out on God
Never realizing his loss
Like a blind man who's lost

No one can get through to him
But some say its me and deb
Who can really talk to him
But its so hard, you wanna give up

It seems like his heart is made out of stone
So hard that even rain cannot soften it
But I've seen him cried
And deep down I know he's ever so vulnerable

Is God in the picture?
I catch myself wondering
If He really is
Why all these suffering?

Help me dear Lord
To get through to him
To go past that wall
He's build inside of him

To past that strong frame
To past that broken soul
To past that weakened spirit
And straight to his wounded heart

That heartbeat that goes after the wrong things
Beauty, pleasure and lust
Money, riches and power
None that's on God's list

Sometimes to me it seems impossible
Like I'm trying the unthinkable
Reaching the unreachable
Seems like its unachievable

But God with You
All things are possible
So I put aside my fears and doubts
Expecting true Divine Intervention

I know he'll be saved one day
And I hope & believe that day is near
For he has studied the bible & talked to You before
Wont be strange if he does it again

I'm still waiting for the day
Where I can call him my silver lining
For I'm his flesh and blood
Yet I feel far apart

Feeling like Cinderella
I'm waiting for my fairytale ending
Not for Prince Charming
But for someone far more special

My Father in heaven
Is better than the godmother in the story
For He doesn't need a magic wand
To make things turn out the way we want

So I'm eager for the day
Where I'll spend in eternity
Praising God forevermore
With the loved ones I truly adore

Hope and pray that he's on that list
Really seems like a faraway dream
Those that only come true
"In your dreams"

It seems like a fairytale
But I know its way more than that
Its the truth
And the truth will set him free!

A small box of Cornflakes

Yet another day of power-cut in school. Its getting way too often here in KK, typical even. (someone has to do something or anything with this issue, its crazy actually, the power supply here in KK isn't enough to be shared around so they have to cut the power supply in a few places so that it can be used by other places, this will go on for 3 to 5 hours and sometimes even a whole day!!! Where are our taxes going anyway?!? haha, just kidding, I love this country & support it. But for this issue something has to be done)

Anyway, back to the topic. So the 3 year old kids were drenched in sweat cos of the weather-it felt like 40 degrees today! And during break time this girl Alexis took out her 2 boxes of cereals, the small kind though. She wanted to give 1 to her cousin Sheryl, but she didn't want it. So she gave it to me! I didn't know it at first, talk about being slow, so I gave it back to her. She went, '' you want or not, I give you!'' Then I said, "why you want to give me?". "Because I like you!" , talk about maximum cuteness! I love being a kindy teacher so so much!

Children here teach me more than I ever imagined. I witness girls giving their hands to younger girls to hold when their scared, other kids touching faces of peers their same age asking them not to cry, kids sharing their food, and some cute puppy love too.=)

Oh ya, Sheryl also asked Alexis not to cry when she got scolded by a teacher. "Alexis, you want me to teach you to dance? Don't cry already." And then accompanying Alexis wherever she went. Sheryl also happens to be leading the 3 and 4 year old dance when she's only 3. Maturity in a kid- priceless! That's right, no more teacher standing in front letting the kids follow the steps, the children will just look at her! I wish I'll have a daughter like that.....

Working in a kindy
Makes life seem so easy
Care-free children everywhere
Never caring about messy hair

You see different things everyday
Never knowing, come what may
Children acting beyond their age
Giving us a good message

Like how Sheryl touches Alexis
Asking her not to cry
Telling her she'll teach her dance
Hope they don't see my intrigued glance

Or how they come to you
The moment you walk through that door
Showing you what pure love is
Taking your hand, no strings attached

How Alexis gives you her cereal box
Not to gain your favor
But to show her love
In her own words? ''I like you mah"

Or how they speak more then the day before
The words that flow out of their mouth
Its a blessing to see their vocabulary
Extend so voluntarily

Like when Chloe talks about her mom
Or Yew Choon about His dad, mom, baby and kakak
Or even when Pui Man screams
"Kenapa tutup pintu?"
When the door is shut in her face

But what happens after this year?
In this journey I go further
One things for sure
Memories of kids never unsure

Will I feel different
In my life not having them present
Nose pressed against the window glass
I'm on the outside looking in

I wish the best for them
Giving them my best attempt
To love, care and pass onto them
The undivided Love God has put in me

Praying that they'll be grateful
For their wonderful parents
But learning about and never forgetting
The Daddy we share who is up in Heaven.

For Jesus loves the little children!

The Many Blogabouts

Looking through blogs I see personalities
Different ones that have no boundaries
Some express transparently
While others give freedom to your imaginary
Not ending their post with a straight-up conclusion
But leaving it a mystery for your own addition.

I see so many people
Friends, politicians and strangers
Voicing out not only thoughts, opinions and facts
But also their hurts, their pain, their regrets
Are they seeking attention
Or finding a way for escape?

Its sad to see old mates
Sweet and nice as they truly were
Ramble and fret over growing pains
Changing as the world around them changes
Being someone God wouldnt be proud of
Looking at life as if its fated.

They cry for help, comfort and attention
Which of course is really what they need
But guidance, morals & principles have suddenly been forsaken
They find love in all the wrong places
And find pleasure in doing the wrong things
When what they truly need is God's undying love.

Some blog about their insecurities
Like when they have no makeup on
But God is our security, the truth we all should know
Some blog about hurting oneself, the pleasure of scarring themselves
But dont they know that Jesus went through enough pain
So that none on us will remain?

There are so many things to blog about
A new generation I like to call Bloganation
Politicians use it to make their statements, to connect with people
Celebrities update fans with their new casting roles & movies
But its teenagers who truly blog not just for the sake
But for the sake of their cries, their hurts, their pain.

Thousand of titles are written everyday
Some typical others not so friendly
Some start with F words
Others with randomness
But it all comes down to the same thing
They're trying to voice out something or even to prove their point.

As I read what is written
I see some write about every detail of their life
While others write about what they hate
Some just do it for the attention
While others write about stuff we can relate
There's just so many things we can really blog about.

So while politicians and celebrities have good reasons to blog about
Either to raise their voice or promote their latest movie
What about us the normal people?
We shouldnt stay in our own obscurity
We have a right to continue blogging
To let go and share our hearts cry.

Its a free world we're living in
But too much freedom
Makes life to care-free
No rules, no boundaries
Statements said that can never come back
We should really watch what we blog about.

Are our blogs representing us?
Not just the layouts and templates
But the real us deep down
When we put off the mask that smiles ever so often
And reveal the truth of oneself from within
Is it postive or negative, Christ-like or undefined?

We may wanna let others know how we feel
The hurt they may have inflicted
Or the joy we feel after chatting with someone close
We may wanna write just as a hobby
Or do it like everybody
But its true when they say what you see is what you get.

So are people getting a good picture of us
When they read the pieces in our blogs
Do they represent who we really are
Or reflect the ugly side or something far
Are we proud of what we write
Through thoughts and poems, for some even swear words.

I write beacuse I love it
Its therapy for my soul
I write when I'm happy
I write when I'm sad
I write about my regrets, doubts and fear
But even more of my gratitude to God for being near.

I write to let go
So it wouldnt be too physical
No shouting or screaming needed
Just sounds from the typing keys
And by the end of every post
I know I cant just let go but I have to let God!

The stuff to blog about are endless
But I wouldnt want mine to be meaningless
And since I know my purpose for life
I'll write about God's glory
Cos for me He's never boring
That way I can tell you how much I love Him!

So what do you usually blog about?
Food, clothes, friends?
Or even your deepest secrets?
It actually doesnt matter
It can be a long long letter
But be careful cos our hearts will truly be reflected.

When people look at your blog
Do they see the real you they see everyday
Or a part of you they didnt know exist
Dont get me wrong
You go ahead and blog what you want
But in the future when you look back would it be something you are proud of.

If you're a christian, lets blog about Jesus's love
Of His awesomeness and the way he died but came back to life
Of the miracles He has done in you and me
They may not be popular or hot topics
But who cares, we're just being true to ourselves
Let's never paint a bad picture of living for Christ.

So go ahead, lets use this new technology
To type our many blogabouts
Doesnt matter what we write about
There has to be true happiness and sadness in a real persons life
Not all entries have to be about cloudy sunshines and bubblegum rainbows
Some may be about hurt and despair
Its really unlimited the things we can share.

But I'm gonna continue blogging
About everything and anything under the sun
But hopefully its mostly about God
For there's just so much to talk about Him
The comforts He gives me
For being my daddy, my friend and King!

I'm gonna write about my silverlinings
People I know who have finished a tough leg of their race
Or events that seem to have no hope
But end up bringing more joy then we can ever imagine
Cos there's always a ray of sunshine
Behind that bright cloud which was dark before the rain.

So how about you?
What are your blogabouts?
Are they emotional, poetic or dramatic?
Just remember our hearts are reflected in what we write
So be careful and wise
For what you see is what you get

IN OUR MANY BLOGABOUTS!!!

God vs Hannah Montana (thoughts of a 6 yr old)

Was sitting in for another teacher today during daycare. Set with a group of 6 year olds, helping them with their homework. A girl finished so she started talking.

Girl: Do you like Hannah Montana?
Me : She's ok.
Girl: I like her orh...
Me : -----
Girl: I like God!
Me : Why?
Girl: Because when people pray He will help them.
Me : But have you seen God?
Girl: No. But I believe.
Me : Who taught you that?
Girl: Myself.
Me : Why do you like Hannah Montana?
Girl: I don't like Hannah Montana, I like God.
*(wow, quick change of mind, but a good one at that)
Me : Do you know what is faith?
Girl: Yes, believing.
Me : In what?
Girl: God!
*Another boy at the same table listens in on our conversation.
Boy: I believe in Buddha.
Girl: He say he believe in what? Dha?
Boy: Buddha.
Girl: Why you believe in Buddha?
Boy: Because I'm a Buddhist.
*Girl doesn't know what to say or how to react but of course wasn't judging. Maybe because she didn't quite understand or it was beyond her. But she didn't let it rattle her pure childlike faith.
Girl: God is good, all the time! (starts singing Don Moen's "God is good")
Me : Does your mom pray at home?
Girl: Yes. She prays really long until I fall asleep. But my dad doesn't. He prays very short
cos he's too tired, he works high up in the mountains.
Me : Do you know what is praying in tongues?
*She points to her tongue. I laugh.
Girl: But I know what you mean. =)

Here, we see the mature thoughts towards God from a 6 year old. Not looking down upon others who don't share the same beliefs. Her faith isn't childish but childlike, which is exactly what God wants us to have. She is on the right track and I pray that she will lead many on the right path. And to sum this whole entry in a good way, wanna know her name?

FAITH!!!

That's right! Her name is Faith!!! What an appropriate name her parents gave her. She is really living out her life truly to her own name and especially to God's standards. Not one bit ashamed of the faith she has. And to her the word "faith" is pretty simple, not just believing in anything..... but in her words....

FAITH = BELIEVE IN GOD!