God's Promises

Psalm 116, verses 1 and 2
I love the Lord because he hears my voice
And my prayer for mercy
Because he bends down to listen
I will pray as long as I have breath!

Reading the NLT version in plain english
Helps me to understand sometimes
More of the Father's heart  for me

When I pray and talk to Him
He doesn't just hear me from heaven
But stoops down to listen to a gentle plea of His daughter
As I whisper into His ear
Deep down I'm so sure that He is near

It's like when fear and doubt of the unknown
Takes a hold of you something you can't control
Like when you leave your family for college
Or when a pastor says He'll be flying more often

You breathe out a shaky breath
Thinking what can I do without them here?
But God reaches down from His throne
And makes His plans and promises for us known

And now I know that I'm not holding onto His promises by a thread
But my fingers are starting to gain strength tugging it closer
I want it to eventually stay close in the palm of my hands
Fingers gripped fervently around it
Not even the one who steals, kills and destroys can come in between

Dear God, 
Help me trust and believe in the plans and promises You have revealed to me
To believe that a revelation will form into realization and than an actualization
That when I truly and fully understand my identity and entitlement because of You
I can achieve anything and everything that I set my heart and faith up to
Bring me back to a safe environment where I can dream childlike dreams again
Open my eyes to a world with no limitations
Take me into the Heavens where I can access what I can't on earth
And bless whoever is reading that they may achieve the dreams you have set for them too
That they may enter the fullest capacity of Your chosen and Divine primary destiny for them
For I believe that once we know the glorious splendor and richness of Your dreams for us
We will never ever wanna fall short of Your promises....
 

Let's hold tight onto God's promises for us

Goosebumps on my legs

I wake up late
More than just "way too late"
It's past noon and I have a list of things to do
But You catch my attention before anything
And make me sit and spend time with You


After brushing my teeth and cleaning myself up
I sit on my bed with things in my head
I take out that Choco Pie a dear friend gave me
Instead of dirtying my sheets I eat it outside
With thoughts of You embedded in my mind


I sit down and look up into the skies
Let the wind's breeze take me away
Breathe in all of Your blessings
Content of where I am and who I belong to
I gently close my eyes


My head lowers as I feel You closer
You enrapture me strongly with Your tender LOVE
I feel goosebumps surfacing on my arms
And then something new
I feel them on my legs


You love me so and wanna touch me whole
Never have I felt You in such a way
As you touch me and hold me this way
In Your arms I know I'll never be the same
Even as I feel these goosebumps on my legs...

Praise in Defeat

I'm late for a meeting

Because for too long I was sleeping

Coming back from Kingdom Invasion

I bet the enemy got threatened and started invading

Walked to the house where we were having our meeting

Heard music from a guitar and voices singing

Felt the presence of our Lord like a mighty wind

Felt weak, tired but a light starting to ignite

Fever and all I sat on the last empty spot

Next to a dear girlfriend of mine

Guessed is wasn't just me who was in a state of defeat

Crazy when exams and deadlines come together and meet

With a "Kingdom Vision" and "Finals" at two ends of a spectrum

The emotions which strings between begins to sink in

The reality of the mundanity of this sinking earth

Making it an 'unachievable' dream to bring Heaven on earth 

I sit there at let the tears flow

Where were they coming from I do not know

How do I praise my King

When all I feel is defeat?

I open my mouth but nothing comes out

Yet it's overflowing on the inside of my heart

Feeling so sick that I can't even sing

I reluctantly heave into a state of defeat

My heart wants to sing but my mouth won't comply

With head down I let the tears flow

Hoping He sees my heart

Where my spirit is so much stronger than my flesh

Different thoughts flood my mind

And I know there's no other way but the Divine

Who could get me out of this state of defeat

But on my part I'll have to reach for His present hand

I reach it and take hold of it

With what is left I push emotions and lethargy aside

This battle has already been won

And I would want to be fit for my entitlement

I sang my praises although it was not like the usual

My voice still soft I wondered why it couldn't get any louder

I did not let my sickness however

Get in the way of me worshipping my King

I told myself I shan't be praying for anyone today

For how could I do it, being in such a state?

But as I sung my praise, supernatural strength arose

And there I went onto praying for those

The worship and prayer ended

And with a smile I knew that the devil has been defeated

For I realize something I never knew before

It's because it can only be realized when you're there stuck in total defeat

That when I feel the weight of responsibilities hanging on my shoulders

And sickness in my stomache making my knees go weak

A deliberate and determine decision to say to my spirit arise

And not allow my own flesh to get in the way

I realized that if I set my mind to it

I can praise God in any circumstances

Let the tears flow but life goes on

No time for self-pity

I walked in a failure

And walked out a victor

Learning a new lesson

That I still can give Him

Praise in defeat....



Bad day cos of some Dirty Laundry?!

Woke up at 10 and mentally listed down my to-do list. Lecture got cancelled and that means more time to do some laundry, assignments, reading and the "endless" spring cleaning of my room. Oh ya! And there was PnP to be done. Short for "Publicity and Promotion" for our Easter event coming this Wednesday. Since I had more then a weeks load of clothes to wash (due to my uber busy schedule), I decided to be practical and use the washing machine provided in our hostel, something I rarely do to safe cost plus its cleaner hand washing them on my own. But it's the beginning of the month and I do have some spare to change so I load my 2 buckets of clothes and throw my bed sheet in and walk up one floor to where my blocks washing machine was placed and there was nothing. The note above it stated that there will be new washing machines replaced and that we have to use those at Blocks A, B and C. Now, I live in Block F so its quite a distance to walk all the way to the other blocks but I thought it could turn into some good morning exercise with 2 heavy buckets and the detergent serving as dumb-bells. Plus, I can talk to God on my way there and spend more time with Him while waiting 30 minutes for the clothes to wash.

Block A: Someone else had her clothes in the washing machine and it stated 20 minutes left. Didn't want to wait that long so moved on to Block B.

Block B: Yay! Someone just finished her laundry and the clothes were in 2 filled pails by the washing machine. I poured in my detergent, separately threw in my clothes and put in my six 50 cents. None went in. The stupid  machine just kept giving me back my coins. Another 15 minutes there trying to get my coins in. (For one thing, it's rare that I have so many coins in hand, for another, how did the girl before me manage to get her coins in?!) Started thinking about different ways.Waited for a girl staying at that block to finish brushing her teeth and washing her face. And when you're in a hurry, the wait seems like it takes an hour. Asked her and she had no clue.

*Thought to myself, should I just ask a guy friend to wash my clothes in their washing machine? No. That wouldn't be ethical.

With one of my soiled shirts, I regretfully and grudgingly wiped off as much detergent as I can off the base of the washing machine hoping I did not waste too much and that it can still be used for when I actually get to wash my clothes. Gave in, cos the coins just did not want to go in. Moved on to Block C. Now with grumbling I thought, if I did hand wash my clothes I may be all done by now! What a way to start a "good" day getting hit like that (by the devil!)

Block C: Only 1.75 is needed. Another broken machine where we can save cost by cheating and just putting two 20 cents in and the machine will be all dysfunctional in a good way, accepting a mere 40 cents to wash a whole load of clothes when it should cost 3 ringgit. I've cheated before, many times until they got the machine fixed and we had to pay the full amount. I guess what goes around comes around because after feeding it six 50 cents, it was still 25 cents short! There is no 5 cent hole, so can you feel the agitation? What if I put in another 20 cents which I didn't have right then and it still needed 5 cents more. (And all this talking about the cent down to it's half like 25 cents is making me go dizzy!) Anyways, I was fuming by then. Just stood there. Didn't blame God but just questioned why when I had a whole day ahead of me with things I must and need to accomplish. 2 friends helped and got me a last and final 20 cent. If this wasn't gonna work I won't even think of what I'll do next cos it may be.......unthinkable. But thankfully, it accepted my coin and I paid 3.20 for something that primarily cost only 3.00. What to do now? (a) Continue to sulk and think how my day could get anymore worst. (b) Call mom to tell her all that I've received from God in the past few days with church and all. Chose the latter.

After a good chat with her, things seemed better but I was running out of time and couldn't do half the things on my to-do list. Changed my bed sheet and rushed of for the course to course promotion for our Easter event.

 

Self-designed!

To cut the long story short.....

It was the toughest one yet, so much so that my friend had to pray under his breath for me as he worked on getting the video on in the computer to show some hundred students. The teacher wanted them to comment on my presentation skills = =. I'm there to promote Jesus! Not to be graded for humility! And the teacher threatened and challenged us whether we still wanted to promote. Still proud that we gave a confident YES!!!

After about 6 or 7 lecture halls and a classroom, I had to rush off to finish an assignment. Straight after that, to worship practice for CF the next day. Still with loads on my mind, I did it all with peace in my heart. And after practice, we had a prayer meeting and this was what happened.

It was crazy!!! Never saw God move this mightily in this circle of friends!! I want it to happen in a bigger way again!! 10pm off to a small briefing for "Kingdom Invasion" in Singapore! (super duper excited about that!) and 10.30 for prayer. And so my day ended pretty well but before I call it a night, we have assignments to rush cos I won't be here week 6 cos I'll be in Singapore. So it's 6.57 in the morning, and I'm still sitting here in the canteen, just finished reading through our final work of assignment and compiling our presentation slides. And the birds are chirping and there was the morning prayer through the speakers and the maids are here starting their day by doing their chores while I haven't ended mine. 

And so now I will go to bed without distress, although knowing that my clockwork has been a mess, knowing God is still at hand and that in my heart I still have peace, I shall go to bed and rest and wake to a new day in 3 hours and less.....

*Don't mind me! I'm just happy! :D