Chinese New Year is almost over and I doubt I'm even getting enough of it.
Never really thought I will even appreciate it this much!
Its just that I have always wondered why did God place me in such an Asian environment, being all chinese and close minded. Admiring people in the west with all their cool mindsets and openness and even the way they write their music...
But after coming into this year of 2009, and getting older and more mature( i hope), I have come to realize the importance of my beliefs and values based on the chinese culture I was brought up in.
1. We always and i mean always respect elders by calling them Uncle or Aunty before their names.Unlike the westerners who just call everyone by their names alike despite age differences easily forgetting that they deserve the respect they're entitled.
2. We are more conservative, a nice and good accompaniment to our christian values=) thinking of the ways we dress, talk or even think based more on our intentions then on the way people think of us as being cool in the "worlds" point of view.
3. We have awesome friends, whom although share different religions(sadly) are always there to lend an ear or be a shoulder to cry on. They also believe in friendship before loveship(sorry, in my own words,lol). In my case, if there's this guy who have openly showed his affection and they don't think he's right. They'll just down right tell you straight not cos their jealous, but becuse they care about you.
4. We are not toooo vain. Dont get me wrong, I think physical appearance is important but not that important that we'll stick our faces more on mirrors then on friends and their feelings. So far, I havent met anyone like that yet (thankfully) but my friend hasn't been spared cos he has a very english culture goin around him.
There are many more reasons I'm grateful for the culture I'm in. Thankfully, I'm looking at where I am in an optimistic way..loving every bit of it and living my life to its full potential! So all you people who hate the place you're at, be grateful cos I'm sure God has His purpose for you, putting you in the place you belong (for now,maybe) **winks
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
tragedy, forgivable?(part 1)
Never thought that this will happen
Even more suspect the person
That my hand phone will be stolen
By a friend I once respected.
She taught me to take the bus home
To give the correct change not to get cheated
But now I just feel so betrayed
Cos I thought there was trust in what we had.
She acted so cool on the day she stole it
Read the bible early in the morning
Put on this act like nothing was wrong
Caught everyone off guard for no one suspected.
Came out of prayer meeting in a rush
Searching in handbag for lip gloss and mirror
Realize my phone was no where in vision
Fret but stopped for duty was calling.
Put on lip gloss using the oven
A quick "I lost my phone" to one of the teachers
Blamed myself for being so careless
Kept wondering hard at what just happened.
Put it behind me for the rest of the day
Trying to concentrate on only the children
Was God teaching me a lesson?
Or was it because of my pure carelessness.
Went home angry with self
Flipped bed, mattress, sofas and handbags
Weird, I just saw it this morning
Where in the world could I have put it?
Called my phone umpteen of times
Never heard a dialing tone
Then is when I realize
That my hand phone might just have been stolen.
Trace back throughout the whole day
It cant be that I dropped it somewhere
For I founded it missing at 8 in the morning
But where in the world could it be?
Never suspected anyone near
Never in my mind was to lodge a report
Hardly and painfully thought of the suspects
It hurt so much for they were my friends.
Never thought that it would come to this
But had a suspect I couldn't believe
Felt so cheated but nothing was certain
All we could do was wait for the next day.
Was a miracle that I could even sleep
Let alone blocked depression from returning
But was so frustrated and confused
That aunty asked to just pray and be patient
Went the next day praying that I will hold my cool
But the first words were shocking to my ears
From the suspect I truly suspected
Standing there I didnt know what to say.
Even more suspect the person
That my hand phone will be stolen
By a friend I once respected.
She taught me to take the bus home
To give the correct change not to get cheated
But now I just feel so betrayed
Cos I thought there was trust in what we had.
She acted so cool on the day she stole it
Read the bible early in the morning
Put on this act like nothing was wrong
Caught everyone off guard for no one suspected.
Came out of prayer meeting in a rush
Searching in handbag for lip gloss and mirror
Realize my phone was no where in vision
Fret but stopped for duty was calling.
Put on lip gloss using the oven
A quick "I lost my phone" to one of the teachers
Blamed myself for being so careless
Kept wondering hard at what just happened.
Put it behind me for the rest of the day
Trying to concentrate on only the children
Was God teaching me a lesson?
Or was it because of my pure carelessness.
Went home angry with self
Flipped bed, mattress, sofas and handbags
Weird, I just saw it this morning
Where in the world could I have put it?
Called my phone umpteen of times
Never heard a dialing tone
Then is when I realize
That my hand phone might just have been stolen.
Trace back throughout the whole day
It cant be that I dropped it somewhere
For I founded it missing at 8 in the morning
But where in the world could it be?
Never suspected anyone near
Never in my mind was to lodge a report
Hardly and painfully thought of the suspects
It hurt so much for they were my friends.
Never thought that it would come to this
But had a suspect I couldn't believe
Felt so cheated but nothing was certain
All we could do was wait for the next day.
Was a miracle that I could even sleep
Let alone blocked depression from returning
But was so frustrated and confused
That aunty asked to just pray and be patient
Went the next day praying that I will hold my cool
But the first words were shocking to my ears
From the suspect I truly suspected
Standing there I didnt know what to say.
Friday, January 16, 2009
someone hard to love
*Just a quick one as i wait for my hair dye to sink in (its my first dye! hope it comes out well! lol)
Have you ever have this friend where you just cant be yourself with?
You are soooo forced to compromise your belief just so you wont get verbally bullied or belittled?
I have this friend whom i just introduced to work in Supertots (the kindergarten i work in)
and the more we get closer the more I feel hurt.
She swears a lot, for God knows what reason, and she likes bragging about her stuff and how rich she is (which is totally not true) I hate complimenting her anymore cos she will be "I know" or "come on, who are we talking about" or " come on, you know me" which kinda put's me off.
I mean here I am trying to compliment her as a friend to boost her and she just shrugs it off like she's too gorgeous too receive my compliment.
It's really hard you know, and she loves boys like totally! She was so excited and proud that this 6 year old kid asked for her name!!! And i just sincerely told her that the kids do ask for our names if not they wont know what to call us, but to her its oh no... he asked for her name which seem to be such a big issue and continued to say "want my number?" Just the thought of it made me gag! I mean he's only 6! No doubt that he is cute but just give him a break!
Through the way she speaks, I know she belittles me. I don't know whether she is intimidated but she just puts me off. She will be like "oh, its the first time I hear you use the word 'whatever' and your like so innocent so when you say it.....'' and how she takes the teacher job for granted (maybe more for the money and less for the kids) really offends me like how she went "yay, I'm out of supertots now, I can swear" . Sometimes i wonder whether i did make a mistake to introduce her to this job and like she herself said " Tricia, so now I'll see you everyday..." in a sarcastic way made me feel like I made a total mistake!
I am still holding on to her with the hope that she'll turn on a new leaf and accept christ but the more i try helping the more i get hurt.
You reading, please give me advice on what shall I do.
Should I give up on her?
Should I just hold on?
Should I just allow her to keep verbally attacking me?
Should I stand up for myself?
But how, to talk back rudely to her, just to give her back a piece of herself?
To teach her a lesson?
To let her know that there's more to life than big boobs, an ass, a boyfriend, richness and outward beaty? cos thats almost everything she talks about.
How do I let her know yet not hurt her?
Cos all I feel now is the hurt she gives me.
I think this is really a case where the phrase WWJD comes in. Seriously, What Would Jesus Do?!
Would me being quiet and just letting her go on with her life ruin her? or should I just let her know bout her attitide and put our friendship on stakes? I really don't know, all I know is that I'm hoping and praying fot the day when I can call her my silver lining.
Have you ever have this friend where you just cant be yourself with?
You are soooo forced to compromise your belief just so you wont get verbally bullied or belittled?
I have this friend whom i just introduced to work in Supertots (the kindergarten i work in)
and the more we get closer the more I feel hurt.
She swears a lot, for God knows what reason, and she likes bragging about her stuff and how rich she is (which is totally not true) I hate complimenting her anymore cos she will be "I know" or "come on, who are we talking about" or " come on, you know me" which kinda put's me off.
I mean here I am trying to compliment her as a friend to boost her and she just shrugs it off like she's too gorgeous too receive my compliment.
It's really hard you know, and she loves boys like totally! She was so excited and proud that this 6 year old kid asked for her name!!! And i just sincerely told her that the kids do ask for our names if not they wont know what to call us, but to her its oh no... he asked for her name which seem to be such a big issue and continued to say "want my number?" Just the thought of it made me gag! I mean he's only 6! No doubt that he is cute but just give him a break!
Through the way she speaks, I know she belittles me. I don't know whether she is intimidated but she just puts me off. She will be like "oh, its the first time I hear you use the word 'whatever' and your like so innocent so when you say it.....'' and how she takes the teacher job for granted (maybe more for the money and less for the kids) really offends me like how she went "yay, I'm out of supertots now, I can swear" . Sometimes i wonder whether i did make a mistake to introduce her to this job and like she herself said " Tricia, so now I'll see you everyday..." in a sarcastic way made me feel like I made a total mistake!
I am still holding on to her with the hope that she'll turn on a new leaf and accept christ but the more i try helping the more i get hurt.
You reading, please give me advice on what shall I do.
Should I give up on her?
Should I just hold on?
Should I just allow her to keep verbally attacking me?
Should I stand up for myself?
But how, to talk back rudely to her, just to give her back a piece of herself?
To teach her a lesson?
To let her know that there's more to life than big boobs, an ass, a boyfriend, richness and outward beaty? cos thats almost everything she talks about.
How do I let her know yet not hurt her?
Cos all I feel now is the hurt she gives me.
I think this is really a case where the phrase WWJD comes in. Seriously, What Would Jesus Do?!
Would me being quiet and just letting her go on with her life ruin her? or should I just let her know bout her attitide and put our friendship on stakes? I really don't know, all I know is that I'm hoping and praying fot the day when I can call her my silver lining.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
The transition (changed title from the working life)
First it was friends that you chat around with
Now its colleagues you talk with
But they're all friends we can always rely on
First it was blue pens
Now it is red pens
But they're all pens and have the same uses
First topics were about puppy love, fights with parents, peer pressure
Now its about boyfriends, marriage, husbands and babies
Wait up! I'm only 17!
First it was always chasing up on our homework
Now its chasing the kids on their homework
Is this proof on the saying "what goes around comes around"?
First it was "I can always get away with this"
Now its "watch out or the kids will imitate!"
I guess we should always be good role models
First I was so pressured by my future
Now I'm taking 1 step at a time
Just going with the flow & leaving the rest to God
First it was all about me
Now its all about Him
Letting God be in the center and revolving around Him
Is way better than me being self-centered
Expecting everything to revolve around me
First it was good
Now it is better
Happy and content with how my life is
Taking anything life throws at me
With a good perspective coming from Him
First I was confused
Now I see the picture
Basking in the love He has given me
Feeling perfect in His eyes
And always trusting Him in everything I do!
Now its colleagues you talk with
But they're all friends we can always rely on
First it was blue pens
Now it is red pens
But they're all pens and have the same uses
First topics were about puppy love, fights with parents, peer pressure
Now its about boyfriends, marriage, husbands and babies
Wait up! I'm only 17!
First it was always chasing up on our homework
Now its chasing the kids on their homework
Is this proof on the saying "what goes around comes around"?
First it was "I can always get away with this"
Now its "watch out or the kids will imitate!"
I guess we should always be good role models
First I was so pressured by my future
Now I'm taking 1 step at a time
Just going with the flow & leaving the rest to God
First it was all about me
Now its all about Him
Letting God be in the center and revolving around Him
Is way better than me being self-centered
Expecting everything to revolve around me
First it was good
Now it is better
Happy and content with how my life is
Taking anything life throws at me
With a good perspective coming from Him
First I was confused
Now I see the picture
Basking in the love He has given me
Feeling perfect in His eyes
And always trusting Him in everything I do!
The working Life
First it was like you always wanted to be an adult and working like an adult...
But when the time comes, all you wanna do is to be like a child or a youth...
Always staring at the adults and wishing you could have all they have and all they can do.
Freedom, time, friends, money....and all the great stuff we 'kids' don't get...
But as the time comes for me to be an adult and to act like one makes me more than i think it was...
gotta use my own money, drive my own way around, put my own limits and stuff like that...
But all i know is that God is there every step of the way to guide me and help me grow....
And my SIS too...XD not forgetting my mom, aunt, uncle, auntie, friends, far relatives....
and now i get to talk crap!!! hahaha
good luck writing!!!!!!!!!
PS: this is from my sister deb when I left it there to do other stuff.... Only had the chance to type the title, talked to my yiyi on the phone, came back and this was there..lol might as well just post it!
But when the time comes, all you wanna do is to be like a child or a youth...
Always staring at the adults and wishing you could have all they have and all they can do.
Freedom, time, friends, money....and all the great stuff we 'kids' don't get...
But as the time comes for me to be an adult and to act like one makes me more than i think it was...
gotta use my own money, drive my own way around, put my own limits and stuff like that...
But all i know is that God is there every step of the way to guide me and help me grow....
And my SIS too...XD not forgetting my mom, aunt, uncle, auntie, friends, far relatives....
and now i get to talk crap!!! hahaha
good luck writing!!!!!!!!!
PS: this is from my sister deb when I left it there to do other stuff.... Only had the chance to type the title, talked to my yiyi on the phone, came back and this was there..lol might as well just post it!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Tempted by God's awesome creation!!!
Ok, so yesterday my relatives and I went to 2 islands for them to go see the beautiful islands(one is from England, and the others Australia) and to also get to know each other more. Ones Pulau Manukan, the others Pulau Memetik I guess(lol, just spellin using suku-kata)
Anyway, i didnt really feel like goin, cos mainly we go there to swim in the beaches if not theres really nothing much we can do, but my monthly friend came so I was skeptical whether i wanted to go. So I went with the intention of not going into the waters but just sitting by the beach and chatting with my uncle and cousins. However when 2 of my relatives rented snorkels to see the fish inside I was kinda interested. so I just went to deep my feet in the water avoiding any water contact with my upper body..lol.. that didnt work because we were so close to the fishes that i was drawn immediately!!!!
It was CRAZY!!! To see the fishes swimming in schools all around you and right in front of your face was magnificent!!! That is even an understatement, its just totally indescribable for anyone who loves nature. I mean, can you even believe it that God created nature with everything planned out and He has even input into the little fishes brains not to be afraid of wierd,huge scary humans acting all surprise and curios about them. Haha.. if I were the fish I will be totally freaked out when I see this wierd creatures with huge goggles and this tubes sticking through their mouth just waiting to take a glance of me just for their pleasure..
Changing my own perspective and looking from a fish's perspective really showed me how awesome God created them. They didnt even look intimidated by us! Just enjoying themselves swimming with their friends ignoring how close they were to the same species that eat them for dinner or catch them for pure fun. It was just a spectular sight knowing that God put in every detail and knew that even though the first thing that comes to our mind with the word "fish" is "food", He still incrypted in their cute little brains that its ok to swim around us (i think)
Of course it wasnt all fun, we got stung by Jellybuds throughout the whole experience but it was all worth it. I'm really proud of my cousins Abby and Wanda, 12 and 11 who didnt whine much but was also mature enough to 'take a step back, and admire God's creation' . My other cousin Melvin was also a real gentlemen for piggybacking us in the really deep parts and letting all 4 of us jump onto him when Deb saw a real seasnake!!!! That seasnake really did give me the creeps! When Deb saw it first she was like "ok, dont freak out, don't freak out, breath well with your snorkels" and when she was holding onto Melvin and me in a safer place she screamed "I just saw a snake!!!" that totally freaked all of us out! I and Melvin being typical teenagers and wanting to stare dangerous creatures in the eye wanted to go have a look so she brought us to the same spot, I was really nervous and breathed before putting my head into the waters, went in couldnt see a thing and went really close (partly because of my shortsightedness) i got so close to what seems to be a rock, looked closer, saw the white scales and totally freaked out!!! Looking back i think that was really funny yet dangerous....but that snake didnt stop us from staying in the water til our lips got all salty and painful which made food in our mouth tasteless!
I really wish I had a underwater camera to bring what I just wrote to justice. But that cant be done so you guys should go check it out for yourselves! And please call me along too..haha
Oh ya, and don't worry my monthly friend didnt draw in the sharks... which was also a case that scared us all especially Abby when she realised.....
Anyway, i didnt really feel like goin, cos mainly we go there to swim in the beaches if not theres really nothing much we can do, but my monthly friend came so I was skeptical whether i wanted to go. So I went with the intention of not going into the waters but just sitting by the beach and chatting with my uncle and cousins. However when 2 of my relatives rented snorkels to see the fish inside I was kinda interested. so I just went to deep my feet in the water avoiding any water contact with my upper body..lol.. that didnt work because we were so close to the fishes that i was drawn immediately!!!!
It was CRAZY!!! To see the fishes swimming in schools all around you and right in front of your face was magnificent!!! That is even an understatement, its just totally indescribable for anyone who loves nature. I mean, can you even believe it that God created nature with everything planned out and He has even input into the little fishes brains not to be afraid of wierd,huge scary humans acting all surprise and curios about them. Haha.. if I were the fish I will be totally freaked out when I see this wierd creatures with huge goggles and this tubes sticking through their mouth just waiting to take a glance of me just for their pleasure..
Changing my own perspective and looking from a fish's perspective really showed me how awesome God created them. They didnt even look intimidated by us! Just enjoying themselves swimming with their friends ignoring how close they were to the same species that eat them for dinner or catch them for pure fun. It was just a spectular sight knowing that God put in every detail and knew that even though the first thing that comes to our mind with the word "fish" is "food", He still incrypted in their cute little brains that its ok to swim around us (i think)
Of course it wasnt all fun, we got stung by Jellybuds throughout the whole experience but it was all worth it. I'm really proud of my cousins Abby and Wanda, 12 and 11 who didnt whine much but was also mature enough to 'take a step back, and admire God's creation' . My other cousin Melvin was also a real gentlemen for piggybacking us in the really deep parts and letting all 4 of us jump onto him when Deb saw a real seasnake!!!! That seasnake really did give me the creeps! When Deb saw it first she was like "ok, dont freak out, don't freak out, breath well with your snorkels" and when she was holding onto Melvin and me in a safer place she screamed "I just saw a snake!!!" that totally freaked all of us out! I and Melvin being typical teenagers and wanting to stare dangerous creatures in the eye wanted to go have a look so she brought us to the same spot, I was really nervous and breathed before putting my head into the waters, went in couldnt see a thing and went really close (partly because of my shortsightedness) i got so close to what seems to be a rock, looked closer, saw the white scales and totally freaked out!!! Looking back i think that was really funny yet dangerous....but that snake didnt stop us from staying in the water til our lips got all salty and painful which made food in our mouth tasteless!
I really wish I had a underwater camera to bring what I just wrote to justice. But that cant be done so you guys should go check it out for yourselves! And please call me along too..haha
Oh ya, and don't worry my monthly friend didnt draw in the sharks... which was also a case that scared us all especially Abby when she realised.....
Sunday, December 21, 2008
my celebrity crush!!!
Ok, I'm actually quite surprise that I am saying this, but i really do think i have a crush on a celebrity whose not that popular..lol! I have always look up to female singers like Kelly Clarkson and bands like Daughtry, love their music, love them. But never actually love love them as in have this feeling all over when you see them sing or hear their lyrics.This was even a shocker to me when i felt the way i felt looking at Drew Seeley on youtube. Doesnt ring a bell? I told you he wasn't that popular! well maybe among the western side he is but i doubt any of my chinese chinese friends even know who he is... anyway back to the point.
I first heard about him as the singing voice of Troy in High School Musical(HSM). First saw him in the HSM concert, but he never really did struck me til I saw him in a youtube video.The words he wrote and sang went straight to my heart, don't laugh.. even I still don't know why, lol!
Anyway, bought the DVD "another Cinderella story" and he was the main actor in it, kinda like the Prince Charming! Even then i wasn't that impress cos he seemed to be typical like a Zac Efron, Jesse Mccartney kinda guy. But when i knew he wrote the songs he sang, that really caught my attention. And his videos are clean i guess... like not sexual and stuff which is typical nowadays.So i guess he is going against the flow, writing his own music not letting managers create him, but focused on creating a courier of his own.
I guess the other qualities that draws my attention is his love, talent and passion for dancing, singing and writing.... in which are also stuff i love to do!!!But I guess he's a bit too old for me, cos he's 26, but nowadays age doesn't really matter.. does it? Now all I have to know is whether he is a christian or not....lol... just ignore me
I first heard about him as the singing voice of Troy in High School Musical(HSM). First saw him in the HSM concert, but he never really did struck me til I saw him in a youtube video.The words he wrote and sang went straight to my heart, don't laugh.. even I still don't know why, lol!
Anyway, bought the DVD "another Cinderella story" and he was the main actor in it, kinda like the Prince Charming! Even then i wasn't that impress cos he seemed to be typical like a Zac Efron, Jesse Mccartney kinda guy. But when i knew he wrote the songs he sang, that really caught my attention. And his videos are clean i guess... like not sexual and stuff which is typical nowadays.So i guess he is going against the flow, writing his own music not letting managers create him, but focused on creating a courier of his own.
I guess the other qualities that draws my attention is his love, talent and passion for dancing, singing and writing.... in which are also stuff i love to do!!!But I guess he's a bit too old for me, cos he's 26, but nowadays age doesn't really matter.. does it? Now all I have to know is whether he is a christian or not....lol... just ignore me
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