Ministry?

Ministry

Something right now that seems foreign to me

Even though I was "thrown" into it at a very young age

Never realizing why or for who I did it back then

Following and serving just out of obedience

Ministry

At 10 I started leading kids in worship

When I myself was still a kid

Handpicked, chosen to go overseas

Praying on stage for participants in Hong Kong

Singing and dancing

I must say it was lots of fun

Ministry

Have been a worship leader

A clown

A game master

Done dramas

Done skits

Done object lessons

Ministry

Took its toll on me when it became "reaching expectations"

Outwardly I was or thought I was a blessing

But inwardly I felt empty and used

To reach out to a few hundred children

To show children workers how things ought to be

It was wrong of me to think that way

Ministry

I guess when you enter your teens

And start having a mind of your own

You start wondering what am I here for?

And why am I doing this?

Rightful questions questioned wrongfully

Almost resulting in bitterness

Ministry

Sometimes we turn into human-doings

When we should stay human-beings

Subconsciously allowing works to precede the heart

Serving men and leaders

Forgetting Jesus the true boss 

Messing up the definition of serving and servanthood

Ministry

I resented it at one point

To the point of falling into depression

Went back to KK and didn't wanna have anything to do with it

Ironically, served in children, youth, worship and sports ministry

Happens when you're able and related to leaders

Ministry

Is there such a thing as too much of it?

What is the exceeding mark?

When should we stop and breath?

There has to be breathers

So we can take it all in

From the one who breathes life

Ministry

How would you know that you're called by God Himself

And not by the leader because they're forever lacking of people

To serve from ones heart

Not because they're talented, a pastor's kid or just being nice

But to be truly CALLED.

Ministry

Somehow I feel like I wanna serve again

But this time it comes from my heart

Not because someone has called me

But because I have heard from Him

And I shan't be afraid

Ministry

No one is indispensable

But everyone is irreplaceable

Whether its in the children's ministry

Or worship team

I would follow where God leads

Ministry

I was naturally placed in it

I followed and serve obediently

Enjoyed it actually

But age and reasoning came in

I felt neglected at one point 

And I resented it

But I'm older now

And I realize that God brings us through times

All for a bigger purpose and plan

We see the thread

He sees the tapestry

The bigger picture

Ministry

I wanna come back now

I wanna serve my King

For its more than a physical act or thing

Its character building

And spiritual maturing

Ministry

I wont resent you no more

For I was wrong to do so

For when I was soaking during "carpet time"

I felt Him saying

"Come back to serve Me, with Me"

and then I realize that I don't serve Him on my own, I do it together with Him

and that makes it a lot easier because I'll get tired serving on my own and in my flesh

but with him supernatural strength is my portion

and I have fear no more

as I come back to 

MINISTRY