Champion?

It's more than a month since I won the title for MC champion in TalentTime Night. The truth is, I never really thought I deserved it, that's why like everytime I face something I don't wanna face, I try avoiding reality - not blogging about it. What is there to reflect upon if all I feel is guilt and remorse on taking an undeserving title. But then again, who am I to say that I don't deserve it when the judge's decision is final?

"MC champion"

That's what people have been calling me for the past month

I hope it wears out fast

Hoping it may not last

Or to go in hiding I must

haha!

Ok, so its not that bad

But initially it was

Never knew I could do it

But my name was called

Couldnt believe it

Did I deserve it

Or was I just dreamin

While there were all hugs and tears

I was just plain blur

People congratulating
Me inside contemplating

"Did I deserve it?!"

I may have come across as proud

Cos from my eyes there were just no tears!!

The other winners were crying

But I was just there numbing

I felt like my friends deserved it better

Seriously didnt think I deserve it

I guess I just look upon myself too low

Gripped by regret like my mind tells me so

But why did I feel the way that I felt

When I should be proud cos He helped me through it

A child of God, what are the odds?

I should be giving Him all of the glory

Bringing this into another perspective

I am a "Champion" in the eyes of God

Not based on wordly standards

But on His word

If I don't look at myself the way He sees me

I'm just cheapening His blood

That was once shed for me

He championed my cause

And I'm sure not a lost cause

I have to keep reminding myself

That I'm a child of God

Deserving of His love and anything that comes my way

So now I do see myself as a champion...

Not solely for TT night but also for God

Hope to champion others for Him

For He is the Champion of all champions

Not as one who won medals

Which moth and rust can destroy

But the One who has won my heart.

The shortcut to college

Training for Talent Time Night is finishing later each day
This one night I was really tired
So instead of going for our usual supper
I decided to go back
But how?!
The long way back to the hostel is just too long
And the shortcut is closed at 10.30
But I decided to try the latter cos sometimes it isn't locked.

The long walk alone was really scary
Jungle on my left and crickets sounds
Made me feel weak in the knees
The walk felt like forever
Began talking to God out loud
And singing worship songs
Trying to drown out the crazy creepy sounds

Reached the first gate
Thankfully it's open!
The second gate?
Not so great...
It was locked!!
After that whole frightening walk?
No way am I gonna take the road more taken
Decided to climb the fence
Got a "short cut" like literally!!
The sharp wires on top the fence
Those that keep the bad guys out
Scratched me so deep
Immediately it started to bleed

Called my friends for help
And managed to climb and jump over
Thanks to them fior supporting the wobbling green fence

Reminds me of our walk with God
There isn't really any shortcut to God
Yes, Jesus is the only way
And reading the Bible and praying will lead us closer and faster
But without all these we may just go nowhere

But it helps when my mom tells me
"You take 1 step towards God, he takes 10 steps towards you"
God is always there!
We just have to know it and believe!

So whether there's a shortcut or not
The path less traveled is where I'll go
It may be scary or even creepy at times
But God is with me, He's right by my side

And I'll have friends who'll lead me back
To lead me back on the right track
Like how my friends helped me with the fence
I really appreciate my christian friends

So if "shortcut" is referred to as a "way"
Then Jesus is my shortcut, my only way
No need jaw sticks
No need rituals
Just a relationship
No strings attached
May be the shortcut less traveled
But will forever be the path I'll follow...

Emotions aside, My Daddy's by my side

It has been a crazy ride!

Just like a roller coaster at height

The screams and shouts you just can't hide

And even throwing up you just might!

Ok, so it's not that bad

I do get sad, tired and frustrated

But not to the point of throwing up

But still to the point of giving up

The MC training has been quite tough

Talents sometimes get rough

Situations gets pretty tense

And anger and disappointment are not just pretense

Plus there are task works, tutorials and tests

Assignments, assignments and assignments

The deadlines come so fast

Sometimes you even forget to take your bath

(just joking!!! I never missed a shower, just cos it rhymes XD)

I'm happy that I managed to finish a huge assignment

To cover all the cabinet ministers of our country

30 ministers can take very long

But with 3 hours of sleep, I barely managed

These past 2 weeks my emotions were crazy

One time your high, the next second your not

Getting all demotivated again

You wonder whether life's worth living

But I took mom's advice to not slack on devotion and prayer

Seems illogical cos time is what I'm fighting

But I'm glad I did and gave the first time of my everyday to God

And He has helped me a seriously whole lot

The stress is less

The confidence is back

Cos no matter what happens

My God has my back

Its supernatural that I could just sleep for 3 hours

And not get tired the next day

And had a friend to accompany me til 5 am

I know he's God sent

I'm more in control of myself now

Of course the control is in God's hands first

But through this one month of college

I have felt Him and drawn closer to Him

(cool huh, cos college life is where the test of our faith stands)

I have zero depression

And good emotions

Peace at heart

And a God that's smart

Reality check

I may still feel sad

For life as a Christian

Is just easier said

But I should have no fear

For He's forever near

Emotions aside

My Daddy's by my side!!!

(my dad, my friend, my king- He's unbeatable!!!)

When life is down...

Just did a not-so-good performance last night. Not-so-good would be an understatement. We did really really really bad. So bad there were bad vocabs included(in the comments). I think all 6 of us felt real down. We tried our best but personally, I think my nerves got the best of me when my partner went, "for this group you just say everything lah" How do we work in pairs if only 1 of us is gonna talk! so it ended up me dominating him in a really bad way while I made a total fool of myself.

When life is down, it just comes to show
That if there's no down, there will be no up

Will we understand the true meaning of happiness
If we've never felt sad
For how should we grade it
On a solo plat it stands

We did very badly
Worse then a terrible medley
The jokes weren't funny
And the lines never cut it

Already feeling down
The comments made us way below down
Making people seem useless
To the extent of thinking they were a mistake

So what, it's just this one time
I don't think we're back to square 1
We just have to keep practicing
And in ourselves keep on believing

The up side of this whole situation?
It just got me closer to God
Knowing that I can't lean on my own understanding
But believe in the way things work with Him

It may seem illogical
Sometimes even superficial
But things are so real with Him
Life just turns into a whole new meaning

Still felt down this morning
So listened the voice of Brooke Fraser singing
The worshipers in Hillsongs
Just made me felt even more smaller

They're so talented and good at what they do
The way they write and make music to our King
Would I ever hold up to people's expectation?
They said they were disappointed in me

But then I think again
I don't have to lean on people's perspective on me
I solely have to rely on God's
For on Him is where I stand

And the way God looks at me
Is the same way He looks at Brookie
Created in His image
Perfected in His sight

I hope my friends will feel the same way
To not think they were an accident
For when God is in sight
The sorrow turns to joy
Even when life is down...

Life in college...

"Life in college"
A transition phase
With the world and life at your fingertips
Freedom, time, friends, environment
All at the advantage of your calling
You do what you choose
And choose what you do
With no one in control
But you and you alone.

Its one week in of my college experience
And I'm living the life!!!
Well, maybe just for now
Cos classes havent started
And it has been all orientation and easy, fun stuff
Telematches, auditions, introductions
Friends, friends and friends...
I'm Lovin It!

Got to meet lots of cool people
Seriously Divine
And just became a finalist
After 3 auditions
Skeptical now cos they say
"You will be famous"
And its gonna be intensive
5 to 9 for 7 weeks
How am I gonna study and meet up woth friends?
That's crazy!

Hopfully I'll be able to rule over my circumstance
And forever make my stand
On studies, friendships, and especially my faith
That way college life will turn out great!
It is me against the world!
And college life is the life!!!

10.05.2010 - A Happening New Chapter of My Life

I'm so psyched!
I don't know where to start!!!

First. It's my birthday
Second. It's my first day of college
I've not only grown in age
But in my life's diary I've turned on a new page
My "first-day" and my "birthday"
All in one day!
How cooler can it get?

Made quite a few friends
Got more than a hundred birthday wishes
Wondering why life sways
In such cool motions just like the fishes

What have I ever done
For God to bless me with so much
Life's fun and worth living
For He has blessed me as such

A New Day. A New Phase. A New Life. A New Beginning.
I guess it all starts when you start believing
Of course believing first in the One who made it all possible
Then the rest will naturally follow

Waking up to birthday wishes
And to an orientation full of laughter
Made the anxiety of last night disappear
The fears, the doubts of being unknown
Has trickled away to a place called "forgotten"

Just went out with a friend I just met
Couldn't get as better as it gets
Went out with her for a pleasant dinner
She wanted to take me for its my birthday!

Life's a blur
In a tremendously good way this time
For I'm still trying to recollect my thoughts
From all the happenings of today
It will be something I'll cherish forever

Thank You God for all You've done
For going before me every step of the way
Knowing that even in my present struggle
The outcome of it will be like rubble
Crumbling down to show your result
Making it far greater than it really seem or sound

And to all of you who gave me wishes
For a birthday I will never forget
No candle, no cake
But received love that's far more greater
You all have a mark on this wonderful day of my life

Turning 19 today
And starting college life
Nothing can be more right
Than this
Happening New Chapter of My Life!!!


10.05.2010
A day I will never forget.Period.

My new home....for now

Saw my room just now, not so bad ey! At least its 1st floor and not on ground floor. But! The wall and doors are stuck with those chinese paper on them! I'm so not in the mood right now... I was praying and praying that I'll get a room that is free from those but I guess God has His purpose and reasons. On my floor it was like almost all the room had those things on their doors. Like they were really needed for luck or security or something. I just pray that I can get mine ripped off as soon as I can! God, please fill it with your presence even right now...

I've seen my room just now
And I guess I have to call it home for now
Pretty happy that it's not on ground floor
But it seems that the downsides are more

The table was dirty there was actually hair
Curtains not so clean
Dust everywhere
Cleaning and scrubbing, I'll have to do my share

But the worst part is the paper's on the door
Those that "goes-against-my-belief" and more
I really wanna tear it all down
So that I can feel safe and sound

Haven't seen my roommate yet
But sure hope that we'll be good friends
Able to chat late into the night
And confide in each other we might

But for now most importantly
I pray that God's presence will fill my room right now
May His blood cleanse all evil
Seen or unseen

That although I may not be familiar with this new setting
I'll always be ready for our daily meeting
As I do my devotion or read my bible
Help me not feel self-conscious if there are people looking

Just please be with me Dear Lord
In this new place I call
Home
For now