Just Be You

“You’re the most anointed when you’re fully yourself” - Richard Gordon.

Here in BSSM, God is teaching me how to fully embrace and love myself. I think for the first time in my life, I can confidently say that there is no one else I’ll rather be. ❤️

Vulnerability as a Strength

I've been thinking about how the Bethel community is sooo different from where I came from. And I think it's two things. "Vulnerability" and the "Culture of Honour" and both of these can only breed from a place of freedom. Couldn't believe it when my pastor told our group that he just had a SOZO (inner healing) in the morning, I was like, "wait.. did you just give a SOZO or received a SOZO?" And we realised that it was through his honesty and vulnerability that helped us all see ourselves through the eyes of God. Everyone is the same in terms of feelings, hurts and emotions. Either you shove it down in a shame based culture, or be over vulnerable and share or your disappointments all day, everyday. But when you are mature enough to know your own limitations and allow the Holy Spirit to work through the awkwardness and mess, you'll see freedom and hope at the end of the tunnel. And that is when your personal breakthrough becomes other people's breakthrough. As Brene Brown says that vulnerability is key for connection. I believe it's the same between God and men. So may 2018 be a year where we take risks, be vulnerable before the right people and God, and see our relationships thrive under that. For I'm beginning to realise that vulnerability is not so much a weakness, but a strength that if you're willing to face, can bring so much breakthrough and freedom. <3 span="">

Bold Faith, Quiet Trust

Bold Faith & Quiet Trust

That's what she carries with grace & honor

Belief in God we must

But she took it many steps further

She graced the seasons of change

With silent but bold faith 

In times of need

She held onto quiet trust

She was a single mom

But don't be alarmed

For she faced the storms with courage

And in battles stayed calm

Looking back I didn't or couldn't see the price she paid

The sacrifice she kept laying over & over & over

As a child, you are oblivion 

To the finances, schedules and car rides a single mom gave

She sent us for ballet and music lessons

Vocal lessons and tution

Gave us everything we needed 

Above all she prioritised Jesus

That's her life's calling

To raise up two girls to be the most Christ-centered individuals anyone could be

To laugh at fear of the future

And acknowledge God as our Victor

I never knew the stigma attached to being raised by a single mom

Until a high school friend one day was quite surprised

When he found out I was raised by a single mom

I didn't show any signs of what a child with a single parent would typically look like

Other people were even astonished when they knew my dad

Amazed by how well my sis and I were brought up

One even asked us to be "backup" parents for their children

When we were only 15 & 13

See people recognize the strength in someone

When they see those below thrive healthily

And I'm glad that my mom did not raise me alone

But truly partnered with God almighty

She weathered the storms

The dissapointments

Carried me in prayer through my darkest times

And kept laying us at the feet of Jesus over and over again

She did not make her children her idols

But always pointed us to the King

Blessed us with so much more than we could ask for

And I pray that she will see the fruits of what she sowed

Been told to "forget" about her dreams

Been treated unjustly before

Been underestimated so many times

But what men don't see God sees

So thank you Mom for protecting your secret place

For keeping me and Deb in the hands of God

And never allowing us to embrace a poverty mentality

Showing us that true riches lie in all of eternity

We are both adults now
And I pray that what we carry
Would reflect what you "paid" for
We are so glad that God chose you to be our mom

Thanks mom for all you have done

The price you paid for the life we live

You have given us our dreams

May you now live yours...

Happy Birthday, I love you so....

My mom & I with our spiritual weapons! hahaha...

10 Years Redemption, 10 Years Fulfillment

Coming to Bethel School of Superntural Ministry (BSSM), I've gotten to meet lots and lots of different people, young and old from all walks of life. It always leaves me in awe to see how there are soo many more radical Jesus-lovers out there and despite background, skin color or social status, we're so hungry for God, it places us on a same level as one humongous global family. So this is Cheska from the Philippines, a dance teacher that taught me dance in a one day hip-hop workshop my mom signed me and my sister up before we even knew. But I'm so glad she did because back then she didn't know particularly what she was doing, but God knew. God knew that it wasn't just a seed of beautiful connection and friendship He was planting, but also a seed of revival that would eventually connect me to Bethel, because fast forward 10 years of wandering away from God, Cheska is now a third year student in BSSM! She was one  of those friends (or seniors) who cheered me on when I was just "thinking" to come. Little did I know that I was a "sign" from God to her in terms of redemption....

Me and Cheska! Meeting after 10 years in America!

It was when I was reflecting on her 10 year breakthrough that I realized that it was also my 10 year breakthrough of depression!!! I tried taking my own life when I was 16 and 10 years later I'm still ALIVE!!!!!!!! In your face, devil! God is so good to me, and I'm so in expectant for the future and all that it holds! I want to live life in joy and abundance and God is just giving me that!!! So let's kick fear in the face because it's just an illusion! 2018 here we come!!!

Also, here is a link to donate to Cheska for her expenses here in Redding for groceries, rent, etc. If you have a heart for dance and Hollywood, please support her because she has a call to go into dance industry and reform it for Jesus! And man, can she dance! Just do as God leads! You never know, you may just be funding a future Bieber dancer! hahaha..

Paypal: francesca.tabifranca@gmail.com

Or cashapp: $FrancescaTabifranca

Is it for Me or is it Not?

I thought that I didn’t learn much from the worship leading amt (elective) because most of what was shared came from a “mega” church point of view with an abundance of super talented singers and musicians to pick from.. a far cry from what my home church situation is. And then we got Kalley. I’m still marked by what she said. How her sharing about worship came from an overflowing well of substantial depth for the sole purpose of adoring God. How amidst the platform, followers and fame, Jesus will time and time again come back and say “is it for Me or is it not.. is it for Me or is it not.” And then you always come back into the alignment of Him before you and that’s really all that matters. Whatever follows is secondary to the grace we experience when we’re face to face with our first love. And I found myself thinking, “Why so much struggle lord? Why do we go to great lengths to come to a place like Bethel to seek for more of You and then struggle with the enormity of the prophecies spoken over our lives?” In which He replied, “If there is no war, there will be no victory.” So whether it’s direction for the next stage of our lives, finances, miracles or the salvation of a loved one, I’m confident that my “yes” to God whether big or small is a resounding “yes” throughout my generations. Until I see God face to face and spend my ultimate victory in all of eternity. And my relief is that the war has already been won and all we have to do is live out that beautiful story God has written for us. It lies in leaning into Him and abiding. And in that I rest my case. #bssm #worship #grateful


Joanna Finchum (1st Year Worship Pastor) & Kalley Heiligenthal (2nd Year Worship Pastor)

When I do....

When I find the one I love, I want to be so in love with him it will be tremendously hard for me to hurt him...

Looking back on 2017

Coming to BSSM (Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry) in Redding, California was such a big move. An overwhelming one to say the least in the most challenging yet wonderful experience of my life. Words can’t describe what I feel and all that I have learned here. It is also through wanting to process my thoughts and reflections through blogging that I realised my last post was from December of last year! What a long break I took?! There’s so much going on here that it’s real hard for me to prioritise time to journal so I think blogging will give me that necessary time spent sitting down and reflecting on my process and heart posture. (That, and the fact that I almost never look back on what I’ve written in my journals maybe because I don’t like my handwriting or how I feel that it’s so unworthy or even boring to be looked upon.. something that I might need to dig deeper into maybe?)

Anyways, it’s the 30^th of December, second last day of the year so I thought that I’d might write my feelings of reaching my “American Dream” of attending BSSM after dreaming about it for more than three years. There have been so many testimonies and crazy happenings that I’d thought I’ll just start with these and work myself backwards from here. So I bet (and hope) that there will be more posts coming up soon just to document my life’s journey and how faithful God has been through it all.

So I came here in August, almost not coming due to a deep depression I felt. One so big that my family was worried that I couldn’t take the flight here, just for my own safety. See, I was a “danger” to myself, swallowed up in negative thoughts and partnering with the devil on who I was and meant to be. Bad stuff. Stuff we should never think about because as Bill Johnson says, “We cannot afford to have a thought in our head that is not in His”. For me, it was the exact opposite, super detrimental to my very own well-being.

But through the fire and through the battle, I took that flight on the 24^th of August, with a thousand negative thoughts mercilessly flooding my mind, I spent the first two months questioning, doubting and feeling unworthy about myself. See, when the devil knows that you are one step closer to your destiny, it will do anything to stop you from taking that step and going further in trying to push you to take your own life. So bonkers in reality but so “real” when you’re in depression. It’s crazy.

Fast forward to the here and now, and I can’t but tear up in gratitude of the goodness of my Father. The times He kept singing over me even when I couldn’t hear Him. The times He reached out His hand through the fog and I didn’t hold it being too blinded by my own pain and “sufferings”. The times when He whispered His words of affirmation over me but all I could hear was the devil’s voice screaming in my head. The times where He felt the pain of the emptiness I felt. And the countless times He tried to make me feel found when I felt so lost. He never gave up on me.

And for that I’m forever grateful. When someone does that (let alone our Maker), fights and pursue you time and time again, you seriously can’t help but just give in to the pursuit, only realising that it’s the best decision you can ever make in your entire life. And in response to that, you want to make your life all about Him, the best way you possibly can.

So here I am, with tears streaming down my face, overcome by the reckless love of God. What can I say, when all that He does is leaves me in awe and dumbfounded by His beauty. That and the fact that I lost my phone on Christmas break in Seattle five days ago. Another HUGE reason I can partner with the enemy in saying what a disappointment, careless and clumsy girl I am, which will naturally drive me down the rabbit’s hole once again. But no, I won’t partner with the devil, instead I’ll partner with truth and not let it steal my joy. Although there are loads of prophecies and memories in the form of pictures I treasure with all my heart in there, they’re not my idol. God still reigns supreme over my life and staying in His presence is better than any materialistic thing could offer even if it’s storing prophecies and pleasant memories (good things actually). It’s good in a way because all prophetic words come from Him, so it makes me rely solely on listening to Him directly than being distracted by listening to those recordings. I realised that I have been spending more time on my prophecies than being face to face with Him in His presence without mediation. Sometimes we can be so distracted by the gifts that we subconsciously forget the “Gifter”. 

I do pray for a miracle though, because I still need my phone to connect with family and friends and I don’t have the money to buy a decent one. So please pray for me on that! Haha..  Anyways, I’m so glad that 2017 has been a super blast and coming here to Bethel really got me more than what I bargained for. Really excited to see what God has in store for me in 2018!!! 

Love y’all!